When You Don't Know Where to Turn / A Self-Diagnosing Guide to Counseling and Therapy

by Steven J. Bartlett

Breath counting is one way to train your mind to control and focus attention. The object is to be doing one thing, and one thing only, becoming fully involved in that single purpose. Start by finding a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. Place a clock or watch where you can see it without having to turn your head. Usually with eyes closed, you then begin to count your breaths, silently: "one" as you slowly exhale the first breath, two as you exhale the second, etc. After you get to "four" start with "one" again. The purpose is to be doing only this, only breathing and counting. You will quickly find that your mind rebels; it will stray and wander whenever your concentration and attention falter. It is a recalcitrant entity. You will be doing well in the beginning if you can succeed for only a few seconds at a time in being conscious only of your counting. Distractions will subvert your will in a split second. You will find yourself thinking of a host of things: what to do tomorrow morning, whether you are doing well or badly at meditation, whether it is silly to be doing this, what's for dinner, taxes, work, or that itch on your forehead. Again and again you will have to return your mind to the task at hand. Very quickly, you'll begin to realize that meditation is hard work. It is frustrating and demanding.

Practice doing this for fifteen minutes a day. After a few weeks, increase to twenty minutes. After another four weeks, spend twenty-five to thirty minutes a day. Once you can do this, continue to practice daily for another month. It will take that long before you will begin to sense whether this approach to meditation is going to be useful to you.

The Meditation of Contemplation

This is an alternative approach to meditation. Again, the purpose is to discipline your mind by means of focused attention. In this approach, you try to focus attention on a physical object. Pick a natural object—a shell, a small stone, a pressed leaf. Now, with the object a foot or two from you, simply look at it. The purpose is to look at the object actively, to keep your attention fixed on it, but to be wakeful and alert. Do not stare at one place on the object or strain your eyes. Explore the object, look at it, attend to it. As usual, you'll find plenty to distract you—stiffness, the need to move, sleepiness, slipping into thinking about problems you need to solve. Each time your mind drifts out of track, gently bring your attention back to the object. Try this for ten minutes a day for two weeks, then fifteen minutes a day for a month, then twenty minutes for the next month. By then, you will know if this approach will help you. Be prepared for some effective sessions and some discouraging ones. Remember that no one said meditation would be easy.

The Meditation of the Bubble

This is an ancient form of meditation that, again, seeks to discipline the mind by developing your ability to focus on one thing at a time. In this meditation, you concentrate on your own stream of consciousness. Imagine yourself sitting quietly on the bottom of a clear lake. Each of your thoughts and feelings forms a bubble that slowly rises to the surface of the lake. As each comes to your mind, watch it closely and think only of it for the five seconds or so that it takes to rise to the surface. Be aware of the slow rhythm of the bubbles. Try to spend approximately equal amounts of time attending to each bubble. If the same thought, the same bubble, rises several times, this is OK. If you continue, the repetition will pass. If nothing comes to mind for a time, this, too, is OK. Form an empty bubble. Try this meditation for ten minutes a day for two weeks, then increase to twenty minutes a day for one or two months. By then, you will know if this approach to meditation is beneficial to you.

THE BENEFITS OF MEDITATION

How will you recognize whether an approach to meditation has value for you? Any changes that occur in you will be gradual; you must be patient. If, after most sessions of meditation, you feel generally more integrated, calmer, more at ease, this is a good sign. Over a period of time, if you are working hard at an approach to meditation that seems to fit your temperament, these periods of feeling peaceful, alert, and comfortable in the world will gradually become more evident to you.

Physiologically, meditation appears to lead to a deeply relaxed state of alert concentration. Your respiration and heart rates slow, the level of lactate in the blood (associated with tension and anxiety) drops lower, and there is an increase in slow alpha brain waves, associated with profound relaxation.

What is important, no matter what approach to meditation you try, is to stay with that approach long enough to determine its potential value for you. Doing a meditation once or a few times is like jogging once or twice: you can't expect to derive any benefit from exercising a couple of times. Meditation is the practice and expression of discipline; deciding to practice regularly and then carrying out your decision are just as important as the approach you take to meditation.