“Did you put this money here, Fritz?”
Of course that forced me. I swiveled. “No, sir, I did.”
“Indeed. Thank you, Fritz.” He got his eighteen-carat opener from the drawer, uncapped a bottle, and poured. Fritz departed. Wolfe let the foam subside a little, not too much, lifted the glass, and took two healthy swallows. Putting the glass down, he tapped the new non-counterfeit fifties, still in a fan under the paperweight, with a fingertip, and demanded, “Well? Flummery?”
“No, sir.”
“Then what?”
I bubbled with eager frankness. “I admit it, sir, what you said Friday about my excessive labors and the bank balance — that really hurt. I felt I wasn’t doing my share, with you sweating it out four hours a day up with the orchids. I was sitting here this afternoon mulling over it, some of the hardest mulling I’ve ever done, when the doorbell rang.”
He was reacting to my opening as expected. Turning to his place in the book, he started reading. I went right on.
“It was a human female in her twenties, with unprecedented eyes, a fine wholesome figure, a highly polished leather suitcase, and a hatbox. She tooted her knowledge of the premises and you and me, bragging about her reading. I brought her in here and we chatted. She wouldn’t tell her name or anything else about herself. She wants no advice, no information, no detective work, no nothing. All she wants is board and room for one week, with meals served in her room, and she specified the south room, which, as you know, is on the same floor as mine.”
I made a little gesture signifying modesty. With his eyes on the book, he didn’t see it, but I made it anyway. “With your trained mind, naturally you have already reached the conclusion that I was myself compelled to accept, on the evidence. Not only has she read about me, she has seen my picture, and she can’t stand it not to be near me — as she put it, for one wonderful week. Luckily she is supplied with lettuce, and she paid for the week in advance, at fifty bucks a day. That’s where that came from. I told her I was taking it only tentatively, awaiting your okay, and took her up to the south room and helped her unpack, and locked her in. She’s there now.”
He had turned in his chair for better light on his book, practically turning his back on me. I went on, unruffled. “She said something about having to go somewhere and stay until June thirtieth, where no one could find her, but of course she had to put some kind of face on it. I made no personal commitments, but I won’t object to some sacrifice of time and convenience, provided I average eight hours’ sleep. She seems educated and refined and will probably want me to read aloud to her, so I’ll have to ask you to lend me some books, like Pilgrim’s Progress and Essays of Elia. She also seems sweet and unspoiled and has fine legs, so if we like her and get used to her one of us could marry her. However, the immediate point is that, since I am responsible for that handy little contribution of cash, you may feel like signing a replacement for the check I tore up Friday.”