‘If you go out there you will be killed,’ she said distinctly. ‘Oh, Hip, haven’t I been right so far? Haven’t I? Haven’t you gotten back a lot already—really gotten it back, so it doesn’t slip away from you?’
Agonized, he said, ‘You tell me I can walk out of here tomorrow and find whatever it is I’ve been looking—Looking? Living for… and you tell me it’ll kill me if I do. What do you want from me? What are you trying to tell me to do?’
‘Just keep on,’ she pleaded. ‘Just keep on with what you’ve been doing.’
‘For what?’ he raged. ‘Go back and back, go farther away from the thing I want? What good will—‘
‘Stop it!’ she said sharply. To his own astonishment he stopped. ‘You’ll be biting holes in the rug in a minute,’ she said gently and with a gleam of amusement. ‘That won’t help.’
He fought against her amusement but it was irresistible. He let it touch him and thrust it away; but it had touched him. He spoke more quietly; ‘You’re telling me I mustn’t ever find the—the half-wit and the… whatever it is?’
‘Oh,’ she said, her whole heart in her inflection, ‘ oh, no! Hip, you’ll find it, truly you will. But you have to know what it is; you have to know why.’
‘How long will it take?’
She shook her head soberly. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I can’t wait. Tomorrow—‘He jabbed a finger at the window. The dark was silvering, the sun was near, pressing it away. ‘ Today, you see? Today I could go there… I’ve got to; you understand how much it means, how long I’ve been…’ His voice trailed off; then he whirled on her. ‘ You say I’ll be killed; I’d rather be killed, there with it in my hands; it’s what I’ve been living for anyway!’