I cannot say what in these last words of papa gave me a whole revelation.
"I think you are mistaken, papa," I said. "I am Daisy yet."
"I was mistaken," said papa smiling, but rather shadowedly, I thought; - "I should have said a rose camellia. Here is Lord Montjoy, my dear. Go."
I am sure Lord Montjoy had little satisfaction in that ride; at least I am sure I had little. I was longing for time to think, and frightened besides. But when the ride was over, mamma wanted me; the evening claimed me for a grand reception; the morning held me in sleep; we had company at luncheon; I was engaged with another riding party in the afternoon, and another assembly expected me at night. I could not rest or think, as I wanted to think, till night and morning had again two or three times tossed me about as a society ball. I think one's mind gets to be something like a ball too, when one lives such a life; all one's better thoughts rolled up, like a hybernating hedgehog, and put away as not wanted for use. I had no opportunity to unroll mine for several days.
But I could not bear this state of things long; and at last I excused myself from a party one morning and went to walk with papa; and then that hedgehog of thoughts began to stir and unfold and come to life. Still I wanted quiet. We had been going through a picture gallery, where I did not see the pictures; then, as often before, I persuaded papa to walk on further and take post where we could look at our leisure on the beautiful Dome. This was an unceasing pleasure to me. Papa was not so fond of it; he came for my sake, as he often was accustomed to do. To-day, instead of soothing, its majestic beauty roused all there was to rouse within me. I suppose we were a long time silent, but I do not know.
"Daisy, you are very quiet," papa said at length.
"Yes papa," I said, rousing myself. "I was thinking."
"That is an old disease of yours, my pet. I wish I could enjoy that great Dome as much as you do."
"Papa, it is so perfect!"
"The Grecian temples suit me better, Daisy."