Now when I had read these letters that were come to me (and that not without great sorrow and anguish, yea, and many tears also, as well for the pain I had caused to my honoured father as for his loss), I did set myself to indite an answer to them in good time, although knowing well that I could not despatch this until I myself should go down to Surat for the shipping season. And first I perceived, from a saying of Mr Sternhold in his second epistle, that he looked for me to have espoused Madam Heliodora by this time, since he asked when he and the tenants should have the honour and pleasure of bidding me welcome and my noble lady. But it seemed to me that now, still less than before, could I endure to set down particularly the history of my presumption and the issue on’t, and thus I did but remark in my answer that I was not yet wed, and did not believe that I ever should be so.
And this I said, not at all imagining that they would put upon my words the interpretation they did, for they supposed my letter wrote in the natural impatience of a lover made angry by some delay in the realising his hopes, and took it to mean that my marriage was but postponed for a season, and must take place at some time. And this wan’t all, for I took the occasion of Captain Freeman’s carrying his ship home to send by him a considerable sum of money out of my savings to Mr Sternhold, desiring him to place it out at interest in such way as he thought best for my cousin’s benefit, leaving her to believe, if so it might be, that ’twas some provision that my father had been able to make for her. But Dorothy, scenting a plot through some chance word let slip by my good friend, did, as I heard afterwards, demand to know the whole truth of the matter, and so refused altogether to touch the money (which I had designed as a portion for her, whether she married or remained a maid, that so she might not have the pain to find herself depending on me, the man that had rejected her), desiring Mr Sternhold to apply the whole sum to the partial releasing of the estate from its burdens. All which was wrote to me in due time by Mr Sternhold, he being in some trouble of spirit touching it.
Now in that I was eager to spare my cousin all the humiliation in my power, providing for her as though she had been my own sister, you may see cause to commend me, but so unalterably fixed did I deem my resolution never to wed her, that I considered it needful to impress her once again with the same, and this I did, as now seems to me, in the rudest and most churlish manner imaginable. For when I writ to Mr Sternhold my answer, having first desired him to request of my cousin, as an especial favour granted to myself, to continue dwelling in the Hall, and to retain in her service Mrs Skipwith and a sufficient quantity of servants, and had begged of him to furnish her, out of my moneys in his hands, with a convenient allowance for the maintenance of herself and the household, I ended my letter thus:—
Have the Goodness, Sir, to make my most respectfull Compliments to Mrs Brandon, and acquaint her from me of my desire—viz., that should she hereafter receive any Proposition of Marryage that may at the same time be agreeable to herself, and such as is sanction’d, Sir, by you, she shall at once intertayn and accept the same, assur’d of the Approvall and Consent of her loving Cosin and Gardien,
Ed. Carlyon.
As much as to say, Warn her that Mr Carlyon is beyond her reach, and that if she can assure herself of another match, ’twill be well for her to accept of it, while she is yet young and handsome!
I don’t know what devil possessed me to write this, for sure, ’twas a cruel thing thus to wring the heart that, as I knew, had never beat for any but myself; but when I had wrote it, I considered it again, and judged it to be an extreme neat and well-turned piece, and so hugged me in my self-conceit, like a brain-sick fool as I was. It may have been (for I conceive that this should well please the devil aforesaid) that I was desirous to render my innocent cousin as miserable as myself, who was but suffering the due reward of a foolish presumption and of a stubborn and stiff-necked resistance to the wise rulings of Providence.
Now when my time at Amidavat was ended, and I went down to Surat, and opened to Mr Martin the condition of my affairs, showing him the account of the wealth that I now owned, and also of that which was still embarked in divers trading ventures, my good friend, after hearing all that I had to say, and asking me certain questions thereupon, shook his head sadly.
“Vertulesse gentilitie is worse than beggerie,” says he.
“Pray, sir,” says I, “what would you have more? I am essaying to employ my savings in such ways as you’ll approve,” and I told him concerning that sum I was about sending home for to provide a portion for Dorothy; “have you anything against me in this particular?”
“Ned,” says Mr Martin, “Tread upon a woman, and she’ll turne. Ay, and He that will not when he may, when hee would he shall have nay.”