What a Young Husband Ought to Know

by Sylvanus Stall

"The rooms are very nicely furnished," was the rather evasive reply.

"But what I want to know is, how did you enjoy yourself in them?"

"As further evasion was useless, the guest said: 'You are asking me a plain question, and I will answer it frankly. I am a single man, and expect soon to get married. If I continue to prosper, I intend to settle down in a comfortable home, and spend my evenings with my wife and my children. As for your clubrooms, if I wanted to neglect my family and my business, and perhaps go to ruin, I think I could soon bring about that result by spending my evenings in your clubrooms; and I am more resolved than ever that when I am once married my home shall be my clubhouse.'"

Now, we would not seem to indicate that the only proper place for the husband is in the house—that he should not go out in the evening for diversion, social fellowship, or recreation. Not at all. These things are often necessary for his health, his happiness and his well-being. But are they not as essential to the health, the happiness and well-being of the wife as of the husband? If he seeks diversion in the evenings, let it be where his wife may accompany him, and share whatever benefits he enjoys. If family duties or the care of children render it impossible for both to leave home at the same time, then manifestly it is the duty of the husband to divide the advantages and disadvantages with the wife; and if the husband has the true father-spirit, the privilege of frequently remaining at home to spend the evening with his children will afford more pleasure and more profit than could be secured elsewhere.

The husband should plan and arrange to give his wife a proper amount of relaxation and diversion. The limitations of her restricted life make recreation and relaxation essential to the maintenance of good health and a cheerful disposition. But, in all your planning and arrangements, remember that relaxation and diversion may be secured within the home as well as without, and can be there enjoyed by the children also, and by others who may chance to share the home with you. If you and your wife have true father-love and mother-love, you will prefer home and the companionship of your children to any other place, and to the company of any other person or persons. Faithful husbands and wives and well-poised parents will need no specific directions in these matters. They will know how to care for their children, and at the same time not sacrifice health and cheeriness.

These are important subjects for the thoughtful consideration of young husbands, and older ones also; and while upon this matter, it may be well for those of us who are too apt to delegate to the wife the whole duty of making the home cheery and happy, to read and think upon the following from the pen of Dr. Isaac Farrar:

"How do you go home to your wife after business hours? Do you not frequently find a tired woman, who has been so hard at work all day with the care of three or four babies, and an incompetent hired girl, that she has found no time to make an afternoon toilet, to meet you as you would like to have her on your return? Try and be a sympathizing husband now; embrace your faithful wife and say to her: 'Never mind, my dear, I'm home early to-night. Come now, go and rest yourself, while I put little Clarence and Addie to bed, and if Frank comes in for his supper I will tell Bridget what to get for him.'

"Are you mindful of draughts and slamming doors while she takes her rest for an hour or so, and can you not induce her to take that rest every day? Remember her days are long, just as busy, and more full of petty cares than yours. A woman is required to be everything, from a reception committee to receive calls in the parlor, to a nurse in the nursery and a chief executive in the kitchen; while a business man devotes himself to a single trade or profession.

"When you undertake to entertain your wife the evenings you are at home, do not have too much to say about the 'scarcity of money;' for perhaps, in her particular case, she knows as much about that as you do; and if the wood and coal bills are larger every year, remember that your family is larger as well; and do not tell her the general dislike you have for children unless they are angels, for they cannot quite be angels during their stay here on earth.

"When the children are in bed and the house quiet, do not seat yourself in the easy chair and read the newspaper to yourself, from editorials to market reports, as if it contained nothing that would interest an intelligent woman. Newspapers read in selfish solitude by thoughtless husbands have made the 'rift within the lute' in more than one happy home.