"Don't rub it in!" The Ambassador shuddered.
"It's nothing new. Tourists have always kicked up their heels. Guess what I saw while I was out to lunch. The cops grabbed a couple of your boys for shoplifting! They thought it was such fun to ride in the paddy-wagon. Back home, of course, they wouldn't think of repositing anything they weren't supposed to, but on Earth it's different."
"And for monkeyshines like that," the Ambassador growled, "I am driven half crazy working out sleep-record courses. 'Idioms of Earth English'—'What Not to Say on Backward Planets and Why'—'Earth Fashion Guide, What You Can Buy There and What to Reposit.' Bah! I'm supposed to be a diplomat, not a fashion adviser!"
"Why don't you hire some help?" Jerry suggested.
"I have. I've hired a whole staff, with offices in all major Earth cities, to exchange platinum, bullion, and precious stones for Earth currencies. It's a man-sized job, I can tell you, to keep Earth currencies stable under this load!"
"You're doing a very good job," Jerry said, soothingly.
"You know what one of our citizens asked me yesterday? How she could get a marriage license! Your officials had turned her down, because she'd been conditioned not to mention her birthplace and age. Mind you, a citizen of the Federated Planets wanted to marry an Earthman and live on this raw, Galactic frontier the rest of her life! Why, we don't even know whether the races can cross-breed!"
"That should be looked into," Jerry agreed.
"What are you trying to do?" the Ambassador demanded, "Drag the citizens of the Federated Planets down to the level of your jungle? You blithely assume those two shoplifters can be trusted with Matter Repositors when they get back home, but I'm not so sure. We haven't any jails to toss them into, but we may have to establish some. Matter-Repositor-proof jails!"
"That's your problem," Jerry said. "All I'm trying to do is make some money for myself and, other businessmen on Earth. Which I'm doing, thank you. And I doubt that you could stop me, at this point. Your citizens would raise quite a howl if my ads stopped appearing in the information bulletins."