Fer. No; and I don't suppose you ever will again.
Mr. W. Ferdinand, I wouldn't have her hear me for the world, but I have an awful time of it with this woman.
Fer. I don't doubt you. I've always considered my aunt as the most unpleasant person of my acquaintance. (Lights a cigar.) Smoke, uncle?
Mr. W. Thanks, Ferdinand. (Lights cigar.) Ah! That's real enjoyment. That's the first cigar I've smoked since I married your aunt. She never would let me. Would it bring her to if I blew some smoke in her face, Ferdinand?
Fer. Not at all. Only the infallible mixture will restore her.
Mr. W. (blows smoke of cigar into Mrs. Watmuff's face). There! There! There! There! That's done me a lot of good, Ferdinand, and now we'll have a glass of wine. (Puts his hand into Mrs. Watmuff's pocket and produces key.) She pocketed the cellar key on our wedding-day, Ferdinand, and has kept it ever since; but, by Gad, I'll have a duplicate made now.
Fer. Quite right; but before you get the wine, let's put the old woman away somewhere. In the first place, she isn't a pleasant sight; and, in the second place, if any one came in they might be startled. Where shall she go?
Mr. W. (pointing to cupboard). I should like to put her in the coal-hole. Would that cupboard do?
Fer. The very thing. Lend me a hand with her. You must do this part of the business carefully,—that's the one objection to the process. A frozen body like this would break to pieces if you dropped it, and you don't want that.
Mr. W. I don't see why I shouldn't—she's often boasted of having broken me.