I do love you, and that fondly, although I have often (and may God Almighty forgive me) rebelled against your wishes. Mother, I ask your forgiveness for what has passed: you know not what real anguish some of your letters have caused me; and although I have tried to drown the voice of conscience, after reading them, a still small voice has always been whispering in my ear, and kept me from committing many a sin.
He now began to be awakened to the sinfulness of his heart (this was some six years before he left this earthly tabernacle). He was no coward; but the thought of death was solemn, and it set him considering seriously whether he was in a fit state to meet a just and holy God; and when it pleased the Lord to speak peace to his soul, he had then no fear of death before his eyes; consequently he proved himself one of the bravest of the brave.
His whole life and soul was now that of a Christian. His eyes had been opened, and he could see that it was impossible to serve two masters, and, like thousands that had gone before him, he chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.
Reader, the world may scoff and scorn, but ask yourself the question, Who is the best off in the end? Mind, formalities will not do; they have no foundation. To be safe you must have your foundation on the Rock of Ages.
Vicars asked himself the question:—
|
When Thou my righteous Judge shall come To fetch Thy ransomed people home Shall I among them stand? |
After many prayers the answer he received was, “Be ye also faithful, and I will not leave thee nor forsake thee.”
His regiment, the 97th, went out to the Crimea, in November, 1854, landed just after the battle of Inkermann; and during that cold, bleak winter, he proved himself a soldier of no mean sort. But amid all the trials and hardships of that terrible camp and trench life he was never heard to murmur: he performed his duty with a cheerful heart, and had always a kind word for every one. He was always as true as steel to his country; he was ever a loving, affectionate son; and, above all, he was faithful to his fathers’ God. He was loved and respected by all ranks for his manly conduct, and, as one of the old Light Division, I can say that his name was engraved on the hearts of all, and throughout the division there was not a man who would not have laid down his life to have saved his. After he fell in that night attack in the trenches one would have thought that the men, particularly those of the 97th, would have eaten the enemy. He fell for England’s home and glory, his last words being, “97th, follow me.” He fell—one of Britain’s bravest sons—in the hour of victory. He fell to rise triumphant, to meet his Lord and Master, whom he had not been ashamed to extol through flood and field. I cannot do better than copy some of this noble young hero’s letters, and then my readers will be able to see what was his character, and the state of his mind, which was cheerful under all circumstances. He would say he did not like to hear a man grumble. As for himself he would sing with all his manly heart—
|
Grace ’tis a charming sound Grace first contrived the way, Grace first inscribed my name, Grace led my roving feet, Grace taught my soul to pray, Grace all the work shall crown. |
Where is the man who has any spirit in him that would not follow at the call of such a leader? His last words for his Queen and Country were “Come on, Fusiliers! This way, 97th! Come on!” and thus he fell, shot by the advancing Russians. By that fatal bullet, Her Most Gracious Majesty and the nation at large lost a faithful, honest, and devoted subject; while his poor widowed mother lost a fond and affectionate son; but that bereaved mother had the consolation of knowing that he was “not lost, but gone before.” He who searches the inmost recesses of the heart and conscience knew well that Hedley Vicars had attained a meetness for the heavenly inheritance, and that it would have been wrong to delay his removal out of harm’s way and from the evil to come. He who holds the keys of the unseen world and of death, and whose eyes are as a flame of fire, had guided Vicars by His counsel, and could see that the time for this exemplary soldier to die had really arrived. His mother’s loss, Her Majesty’s loss, the nation’s loss, was to be his gain—his eternal gain. It was, indeed, a crushing blow to his bereaved mother, but He who raised the widow’s son was able to comfort and support her. She knew that her son had “fought a good fight” for his Lord and Master, and had “finished his course,” and henceforth there was laid up for him a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, would give him. Reader, sooner or later your turn will come, whether on a battle-field or on a bed of down. The all-important question for consideration is—Are you ready? Have you been faithful? Remember, it will be a personal matter when your time comes. Boast not thyself of health, wealth, youth, or attainments. “Prepare to meet thy God.” Captain Vicars had always in his mind this truth. Man proposes, but God in His mercy disposes; and who shall say that He doeth wrong? He holds the whole earth in the hollow of His hands, but He remembereth in His mercy that we are dust.