“Course O’Rourke was sore as a boil. But he couldn’t do nothin’. We got a detail at the head and stern of that critter and when somebody counted three everybody yanked and pushed. The damn mule stood fast, but Berny Garrity and another guy went overboard while several others landed on different bales of cotton nearby. We got some coons to help us. Them niggers shouted like madmen in a side-show. But nothin’ doin’. Finally we hooked that fool mule onto a pulley with beaucoup ropes and hauled him aboard. It was a battle to get that gink in his stall.
“The ship was loaded and ready to start to France at three bells that afternoon. ’Bout four we pulled up the anchor and got under way. When we got so far out into the ocean that shore was just like a low cloud in the west I said, ‘Good-by, old America.’ Thought I’d never see the United States for many moons again. Can you imagine us wakin’ up the next mornin’ in plain sight of Jersey coast? We did—and went into New York Harbor for a convoy.
“After waitin’ thirty-six hours they finally got all of the tubs in a line that was to go across with us. I never saw such a fleet of fishin’-smacks and whalers in all my life. There wasn’t one that could make over seven miles an hour, except ourselves, as we soon found out.
“The Statue of Liberty was about the last friend I seen as we pulled out of New York and hit for the briny. That night we were out to sea for fair and the Panaman did some stunts that would make a good Holy Roller feel ashamed.
“Can’t say that our trip was as bad as it might have been. Course I got out of that hole they stuck us in for sleepin’-quarters and made a bunk upon the second hatch, ’midships. Sundberg and I slept together there and we used to rope ourselves down at night to keep from rollin’ overboard. The eatin’ was rotten for us, but the mules and horses ate pretty fair, that is, all but mine. I had eighteen soft-brained, long-eared mules to feed, and they got so damn mean until they would bite my back when I turned ’round to pick up hay. So I starved ’em a few times just to show ’em who was runnin’ their little boardin’-house.
“There wasn’t any amusements on that boat. Not even a checker-board or a game of tiddledy-de-winks. In that case we had to shoot crap quite a bit. Generally the whole outfit includin’ the crew, galley hounds, and even Punkjaw, shot all mornin’ long and after dinner we encored until dark. The games got so high and interestin’ until the ship’s officers and some army lieutenants got a few hands in. That’s how I met Lindsey, the third engineer. He and I got chummy over a couple of good hands that ran for me almost half an hour and first thing I knew I had fixed to sleep in his stateroom on the little sofa thing in there.
“’Bout that time I made friends with Julius. He served the captain’s mess and used to hand me in a feed every meal through the port-hole. Talk about good monjayin’. Boy, them was the days when a dish of ham and eggs looked like a mess-kit full of ‘corn willy.’ Them officers used to get chicken almost every meal. Course I monjayed just as good as they did when that chink steward didn’t have his heads on Julius.
“The only ceremonies that took place on board was funerals. We had quite a few mules die, and of course there wasn’t much use in carryin’ them along like that. A dead mule ain’t much account hitched up to a ration cart or a rollin’ kitchen. So we hauled ’em up and let ’em slide overboard. There was a couple of guys who hollered about doin’ that, as they said German submarines might track us or find out that there was boats around if they saw dead mules floatin’ on the ocean. But I told those fellows that it would be a darn sight easier to locate us if we kept the mules on board than if we threw ’em over.
“After fifteen days of rollin’ and pitchin’ we sneaked into the danger zone, as that place was called where there was supposed to be beaucoup U-boats. Funny thing, but you never heard a word ’bout submarines until we hit the zone. Then the only thing said was that we might have to swim a good deal if we got hit, as most of the boats were not seaworthy. Still we kept on drillin’ with them just as if they were good enough to get in if the ship got torpedoed.
“Our third day in the zone, after the little toy-boats, or destroyers as they called them, bobbed up, gave us a little fun. One of the guys on watch—that’s the same thing as guard in this man’s army—swore he saw a submarine on the starboard railin’ or somethin’ like that. Everybody rushed to that side of the ship until we like to have tipped over. You might think that we would have had sense enough, knowin’ it was a German submarine, to have ducked behind something so as to get out of the way of anythin’ that the Dutchmen would shoot over. But no, just like Americans, they had to run out and see what was goin’ on.