I shall endeavour, as far as possible, to classify my collection of stories. And in pursuance of this purpose I cannot, perhaps, do better than start out with some quaint definitions.
With a Ring of Triumph.—A class of infants was being taught a recitation in which the word "battledore" occurred. The teacher asked if any child knew the meaning. Only one child raised his hand, and, with a ring of triumph in his voice, gave the answer: "A door what a soldier comes out of."
"What they Call a Watershed."—Asked to write a definition of "A Watershed" one potential Christopher Columbus wrote: "A watershed is a thing that when the soil in part of a river stands straight up on one side and slants tremendously the other side, the water is obliged to go up the soil on one side and come slanting down the other side—that is what they call a watershed."
A New View of the Constitution.—"A Limited Monarchy," wrote a small boy, "is a government by a monarchy, who in case of bankruptcy would not be responsible for the entire national debt. In private life you have the same thing with a Limited Liability Company."
Concerning the Heretic.—"A Heretic," wrote a practical young person, "is one who never would believe what he was told, but only after seeing it and hearing it himself with his own eyes."