True Both Ways.—Some years ago, writes a teacher, I used to take Standard I. on Wednesday afternoons for a talk on the subject of Geography. I had on one occasion a magnet and a compass, and was amusing the little ones with the magnet. They seemed to have some idea of the meaning and use of the compass, and it occurred to me whether they knew what a mariner was, so I asked them. No answer. After some time one precocious very small boy ventured: "Please, sir, it's a young man what goes after a young ooman." [Query: "a-marrying her.">[
Touching the Equator.—"What," demanded the inspector, "is the Equator?" "The Equator," said one ingenious hopeful, "is a menagerie lion running round the centre of the earth."
About the Stretcher.—A London infant school. The Raising of the Widow's Son. Illustrations, Religious Tract Society Scripture Roll. Story told by teacher. Pointing to the bier: "What is he lying on?" Ans.: "A stretcher."—Ques.: "What is a stretcher?" Ans.: "Wot lydies rides on when they gets drunk!"
Ten Brief Ones.—"The Chartists were men who compelled King John to sign Magna Charta."—"The Luddites were shells fired by the Boers."—"Sir Joseph Chamberlain invented fiscal policy, and generally wears an orchard in his coat."—"By the Salic Law no woman can become King."—"Wat Tyler was the leader of the Pheasants' Revolt."—"The Channel Islands consist of Jersey, Gansey, Alderman, and Shark."—"Quid pro quo means paying a sovereign for goods of the given value!"—"Poetry is when every line begins with a capital letter."—"Parliament is a place where they go up to London to talk about Birmingham!"—"The principal parts of the eye are the pupil, the moat, and the beam."
Some Ingenious Ones.—Ques.: "What are Bacteria?" Ans.: "A kind of chair for invalids."—Ques.: "What is meant by the term celestial pole?" Ans.: "A heavenly perch."—Ques.: "Which is the first and great Commandment?" Ans.: "Hang all the law and the prophets!"—Ques.: "What is Lava?" Ans.: "The stuff a barber puts on your face."—Teacher (pointing to an oblique line): "What kind of line is that?" Scholar: "A hori-slant-al line."—Teacher: "What does the abdomen contain?" Scholar: "The stomach, liver, and interestines."—Teacher: "What did the doctor say about your throat?" Scholar: "He said I must not eat any solemn food."—Teacher: "Who was Guy Fawkes?" First Pupil: "Guy Fox was a man who tried to destroy Parliament." (Girl's answer.) Second Pupil: "Guy Forks is a man made by another man." (Boy's answer.)—Teacher: "Say what you know about Columbus." Scholar: "Columbus saw two blue-eyed Saxon boys in the market-place to be sold as slaves. He turned away with his heart full of thoughts."—Ques.: "Who is Mr. Chamberlain?" Ans.: "A man who broke out among other people."—Ques.: "What is a Bay?" Ans.: "A Bay's a piece of land, which the sea has washed away and made a hollow."—Ques.: "Who were the Lollards?" Ans.: "The Lollards were men who used to sing in the streets."—Ques.: "Who was Cardinal Wolsey?" Ans.: "Cardinal Wolsey was a haughty prelate. He permitted his hat to be carried before him on a cushion."—Ques.: "Who was Cranmer?" Ans.: "Cranmer was Archbishop of Oxford University, and was burnt at a steak."—Ques.: "In what character was Mrs. Scott-Siddons painted by Gainsborough?" Ans.: "The tragic mouse."—Ques.: "What do you understand by the Salic Law?" Ans.: "The Salic Law forbade any man descended from a woman inheriting the throne."—Ques.: "What are the chief mountains of Scotland?" Ans.: "Ben Nevis, Ben Lomond, and Ben Jonson."—Ques.: "How many senses have we? Name them." Ans.: "We have two senses, wrong and right."—Ques.: "How is silence expressed in music?" Ans.: "Silence in music is expressed by putting your feet on the paddles."—Ques.: "What is a blizzard?" Ans.: "The inside of a fowl."