A Homely View.—Head mistress: "What was the first thing that the little boy Samuel did when he got up in the morning?" Cheery little mother: "Please, mum, he carried up a cup of tea to Eli!"
Mixed.—A small boy, who had been reading about Sir Walter Raleigh and the Virgin Queen, in writing of Elijah, said: "As Elijah went up to Heaven he dropped his mantle, and Queen Elizabeth walked over it."
"I Believe."—"Write down what you are saying," said a teacher once to a pupil who with others was reciting the Apostles' Creed. "Suffered under Pontius Pilate," came out "Suffered under bunch of violets!" At the little village school of Bonchurch, Isle of Wight, it was once set down "Suffered under Bonchurch Pilot!"
"And to bed you go."—"Tell us a story, please," said the little ones once to their teacher on Friday afternoon. She, consenting, asked whether they wanted a new one or an old one. "Cinderella," said one; "Aladdin," asked another. Then from a rather heavy boy, "I want the tale of Citrate of Magnesia and to bed you go." She paused in complete obfuscation. Then a sharp little girl said: "That's wrong, governess, it wasn't Citrate of Magnesia, but it was to bed you go, and they were all in the fire and not burnt." The teacher recognised the Bible incident of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego!
What Happened.—Scene: Class of infants and Standard I. Time: Scripture lesson. Teacher, impressively (to children anxiously watching—in imagination—the development of an old-world tragedy): "Then Abraham having bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, took the knife in his hand—when lo!—What happened?" Big dunce from the gallery (in a voice hoarse with excitement and pent-up feeling): "Hisaac 'ollered out."