More Ways Than One.—The teacher was busy at his desk, trying to discover the error which prevented the register from balancing, when a youngster of seven years walked forward with his hand up. "What do you want?" said the teacher, without turning round. "Please, sir, Jock Broon's callin' me names," was the reply. "Oh, get away!" exclaimed the teacher, again settling to his work. He had totalled up to near the top of the column, when the same youngster again appeared and said: "Please, sir, Jock's doing it again." The teacher was so annoyed at the second interruption that he sharply reprimanded "Jock," and threatened to punish him if he again repeated the offence. Turning to his desk, the teacher made a determined effort to discover the error in the totals, when his tormentor again appeared. Seizing the cane, the teacher turned to him and demanded to know what he wanted. "Please, sir, Jock's whistlin' it," he answered.
A Mixed Grill.—The wife of a duke is a "ducky."
A veteran is "a man what does hosses."
Coolies are "men that live in cold countries."
Mailboats are "boats that only carry men."
A husbandman is "a man with two wives."
"The first words of Zacharias on recovering his speech were: 'I am dumb.'"
Of course it was a boy who wrote that a graven image is "an idle maid with hands."