“Ye see, rats don’t have no consciences. That’s where they differs with humans. Fools don’t have none to speak on, but sometimes there comes a time to most men when they wonders what about the little feller what gets licked. It’s all right in stories o’ love, and no one bothers at the time about the weaklin’ who can’t hold his own, but really when it comes down to hard fact without all the romance o’ women in it, there’s somethin’ sorrowful about the poor feller who can’t hold his way agin the stronger one. He aint done nothin’ wrong in bein’ weak, an’ he was born that way, so why blame him fer it? Sometimes it seems as if the world was wrong, always goin’ sides with the fine, handsome hero o’ the affair who can drive off the weaklin’ an’ rescue the female. What about the feller who was born weak an’ small, aint he got no feelin’s? But nobody cares a rap fer him. It’s nature. It shows humans are mostly animals, an’ as fer me I sometimes feel I lost somethin’ by not bein’ born a rat.
“Ye see, the Spitfire was in the banana trade then. Bananas are the devil to carry if they get ripe on you, and get switchin’ around below. I seen the banana slush four feet deep in the lower hold, an’ ye know banana juice is about as acid as anythin’ goin’, an’ it cuts iron into holes an’ pits quicker’n you can tell o’ it. Ye got to be mighty careful cleanin’ a banana ship’s bilge if you don’t want her to get pitted, an’ her bottom like a piece o’ blottin’ paper soft enough to poke yer foot through with a kick. It takes a man who knows how to take care o’ a banana ship to keep her up!
“I don’t know how rats come to be in ships, but they come by the hundreds. Mebbe they come in the fruit, or stores. Anyways, there they be, an’ there’s no way to git rid o’ them.
“Ye see, there has to be a ceiling of wood in an iron ship to keep the fruit off’n the plates, an’ it’s in atween this that the little critters git. They aint no more like a shore rat than you are. They are all sailors, every one o’ them, an’ they stan’ their watches same as you an’ me. You see these fellers running around here now, but there’s a lot more below that won’t come on deck until I go below. Toby there is in my watch, an’ I feed him. Them that aint in my watch won’t come out till the bell strikes, an’ then they peep up, an’ if they see the mate out they come on deck an’ look fer the grub some fellers in his watch fetches up now an’ then.
“But what I was tellin’ was this. We took aboard a lot o’ fresh ones down to Montego Bay, an’ among ’em was that old fat female rat ye see there sittin’ on the edge o’ the coamin’. She’s the mother o’ half a hundred now, but when she first come aboard she was a young an’ frisky rat as ever you see. She’d been aboard a week or two afore I noticed her, but on the way south again, one night when we struck into the warm water, I noticed her come on deck with a lot more. It was just such a night as this an’ the little skipper an’ his wife were on the bridge a-lookin’ down at the black hole o’ the fore hatch. Soon the gal made out the rats a-runnin’ an’ jumpin’ around the opening an’ the second mate sat there waitin’ fer the bells to strike afore he went on watch.
“That ole rat was skippin’ away from a whole crowd o’ young rats what was a-followin’ her around, an’ that big Toby there he was gettin’ sort o’ interested. He was a young rat then, ye see, an’ he looked on sort o’ solemn like fer a while an’ let ’em skip around, but I seen that he wasn’t goin’ to stand still long. Suddenly he gave a squeak. Then the frolickin’ stopped sudden like an’ Toby come forrads.
“Well, sir, you may not believe it, but he went straight up to that handsome young female an’ said ‘How d’ye do’ as plain as ye please. I don’t mean to say he spoke, but that was his action, an’ no mistakin’, fer the pair stood nose to nose fer the space o’ half a minute. Then they went off together to another part o’ the deck, an’ ye ought to seen how them other young rats took it. It was comical an’ that’s a fact. He had done the polite to that female rat an’ was gettin’ along handsome’ an’ the gal above was laughin’ at it, while the skipper walked athwartships an’ took no notice.
“Toby hadn’t been more’n two minutes with his fair one when up comes a sassy-lookin’ rat, about as big as a kitten. He was lookin’ fer trouble, that rat, fer he jest walked right up an’ lit into Toby without waitin’ fer further orders. Sink me, if that weren’t a scrap. Ye never would think them little critters would take on so. A pair o’ bulldogs warn’t in it with them rats, an’ the rest all crowded around, comin’ up slowly, an’ lookin’ to see which one would do fer the other.
“Well, sir, the second mate sat still lookin’ on, an’ the gal was lookin’ down from above over the bridge rail. The night was bright enough fer to see things pretty well on deck, an’ the gal’s eyes showed interest. It was the same old story, the choosin’ o’ the hero, only they was rats, an’ there wasn’t no doubt that we wanted the best one to win: him that was the biggest an’ strongest an’ best-lookin’.
“It’s been a long time ago now, but ye would think that ole rat would still have the marks o’ that fight on him, an’ mebbe he has. They grabbed at each other with them long teeth, an’ I tell you they made the fur fly fer a few minutes. The sassy big rat made a pass an’ grabbed Toby by the leg, an’ sech a squealin’ ye never heard. But that female rat sat quiet, an’ jest kept lookin’ on, waitin’ fer the finish. Toby saw he was in a bad fix. He was gettin’ the worst o’ the fight, fer that rat had him fast enough by the hind leg. It was up an’ down an’ all over the deck forrads, the old fellow squealin’ an’ bitin’, an’ that sassy-lookin’ rat jest holdin’ on fer further orders. It looked blue fer Toby an’ he seen somethin’ must be done sudden if he wanted that fine female rat fer a side pardner down in the bilge. He stopped his squealin’ an’ was quiet fer a minute, thinkin’ an’ tryin’ to plan out some kind o’ game fer to git away an’ get his grip on that sassy rat that was slowly sawin’ his leg off. All to onct he give a jerk. Then he bent his body double an’ rolled on his back like a ball. That brought his enemy up alongside him an’ the next minute he was fast to him amidships, gettin’ a good grip o’ the feller’s belly.