Will they ever make a point of keeping their women at home and give practical proof of their pride in the peaches by marrying them themselves?
Will they ever learn the English language which was the best thing imported in the “Mayflower”?
Will they ever get rid of the climatic influences that compel them to speak and sing through their noses?
Will they ever quote their astounding President at anything but a discount or realise that he is their greatest national asset?
Will they ever place a prohibitive tariff on noise and lynch sensation-mongers as they do niggers?
Will their playwrights ever learn the difference between a phonograph record and a play and will their audiences ever learn to appreciate acting when they see it?
Will they ever discover that sport is not merely a business of record breaking and that business and football, I class the two together, are not the sports of the stone age in which the vanquished was not only overthrown but subsequently utterly consumed?
Will they ever give up pea-nuts?
Will they ever cease from the blind cultivation of pork?