"Unlock the door, and I will make you rich for life."
"Ha! ha! I can be rich for life without unlocking the door."
"How?"
"By waiting till you are dead, and then constituting myself your heir. No will required. No legacy duty to pay. Funeral expenses next to nothing. I saw such a splendid grey rat leap from behind the old ledgers the other day."
"Villain! you would not murder me?"
"Murder you! Ha! ha! Certainly not. What put that idea into your head."
"Then why don't you open the door?"
"Now you are asking a leetle too much--just a leetle. I would do anything in the world for you except open this door. You know you robbed me of my child--you ruined her and deserted her. It was only one of your little practical jokes. It's my turn now. This is one of _my_ jokes. You don't object, I hope?"
"Then you are going to leave me hereto starve--to die?"
"Oh no, I'm not going to leave you. There you are mistaken. I shall come a dozen times a day to see you. These little dialogues are interesting. I'll bring my pipe after awhile, and come and keep you company; but on this side the door, you know--on this side the door."