Faust. The fact is, young gents, as I was saying when you threatened to kick me, you’ve been rather shabbily used. There’s a chap of the name of Amulius. Know him?
Rom. and Rem. What, our uncle? Rather.
Faust. Well—(you’ll find all about it in Smith’s Classical Dictionary)—the fact is, it’s ’im as done it. It’s ’im as chucked yer into the river. I ’elped ’im—no, no, I don’t mean that—I was passing by and see ’im at it.
Rom. (kicking him). You did? Why didn’t you get us out?
Faust, (rubbing his leg). Don’t do that; it hurts. Why, it was this way. When I married my old woman about forty years ago, I said to myself, says I, if ever I grow up to be a man, I shall either go into the force or else take to the sheep-farming. Oh, young gentleman, if you kick me again I shall arrest you for assault. Really I will.
Rom. and Rem.. Cut your story short. What about Amulius?
Faust. Only he’s collared your crowns—that’s all. Don’t mention it. Take my advice and go and crack his. Rom. and Rem. Certainly. We’ll do it at once.
(They do it at once)
Act II.
Scene I.