So off went the delighted Simon to work at this self-imposed task, and caring little about the rest of the Dominican.
But some of that was worth reading, too. Tony’s leading article, for instance, was an important document. It was headed “Gone Up,” and began, “Alas! our occupation’s gone! No longer will the Dominican be able to bring its sledge-hammer down on high places and walk into the Sixth. For two of our men, O Fifth!—Greenfield and Wraysford—have joined the classic ranks of those who eat toffee in the top form, and play ‘odds and evens’ under the highest desks of Saint Dominic’s. We must be careful now, or we shall catch it. And yet we ought to congratulate the Sixth! At last they have got intelligence and high principle, and two good men behind a scrimmage among them; and more are coming! There’s some hope for the Sixth yet, and we would not grudge even our two best men for such a good object as regenerating the top form of Saint Dominic’s,” and so on—not very flattering to the Sixth, or very comfortable for its two newest members, who, however, had prudently retired from the scene long ago, as soon as the first references to Oliver had been read out.
Then came “Notes from Coventry, continued,” which were very brief. “Since our last, the population of Coventry has undergone a change. The former inhabitant has walked out with flying colours, and the place is empty. Who wants to go?”
Then came one or two odd paragraphs; one of them was:—
“By the way, the Dominican wants to know why Loman is no longer a monitor? Do his engagements with friends in Maltby prevent his giving the necessary time to this duty? or are the Sixth beginning to see that if they want order in the school they must have fellows who have at least a little influence to do it? They have done well in appointing Wraysford. But why is Loman resigned? Who can tell? It’s a riddle. A prize for the best answer in our next.”
The finishing stroke, however, was Pembury’s “Notes and Queries from Down Below,” supposed to be of special interest to the Fourth Junior. The first was as follows:—
“Lessons.—Padger the Tadpole writes to ask, ‘How do you do lessons?’ The answer is a simple one, Padger. If you are a member of the Fourth Junior, as we have a vague idea you are, the way of ‘doing’ lessons there is as follows: Sit at a desk full of old cherry-stones, orange-peel, and dusty sherbet, and put your elbows on it. Then with your pen scatter as much ink as you conveniently can over your own collar and face, and everybody else, without unduly exerting yourself. After that kick your right and left neighbours; then carefully rub your hands in the dust and pass them several times over your countenance, all the while making the most hideous and abominable howls and shrieks you can invent. And then your lessons are ‘done.’”
This paragraph so grievously incensed the honourable community at which it was directed, that for the first time for some months Guinea-pigs and Tadpoles made common cause to protest against the base insinuations it contained.
The “meeting” in the Fourth Junior that afternoon lasted, on and off, from half-past four to half-past eight. Among the speakers were Bramble, Paul, and Stephen; while Padger, Walker, and Rook did very good execution with their fists. About half-past seven the dust was so dense that it was impossible to see across the room; but those who knew reported that there was another row on about Greenfield senior, and that Paul and Padger were having their twenty-seventh round! Anyhow, the Guinea-pigs and Tadpoles missed the rest of the Dominican, which, however, only contained one other paragraph of special interest:
“To-morrow week the football match of the season, School against County, will be played in the Saint Dominic’s meadow. We are glad to say the School team will be a crack one, including this time Greenfield senior, and excluding one or two of the ‘incompetents’ of last term. The following is the school fifteen:—Stansfield (football captain), Brown, Winter, Callonby, Duncan, Ricketts, T. Senior, Henderson, Carter, and Watkins, forwards; Wren (school captain) and Forrester (iv.), quarter-back; Greenfield and Bullinger, half-back; and Wraysford, back. With a team like this the school ought to give a good account of itself against our visitors.”