The Willoughby Captains

by Talbot Baines Reed

“Rather,” said Game, “I know it would seem precious rum being a monitor under him.”

“Well,” said Bloomfield, “I suppose it will be settled soon. Meanwhile, Game, what do you say to another grind in the tub? You didn’t half work this morning, you beggar.”

Game groaned resignedly, and said “All right;” and hue and cry was forthwith made for Master Parson’s services at the helm.

But Master Parson, as it happened, was not to be found. He was neither in the school nor in his house, and a search through the grounds failed to unearth him. He had not been seen since his escape from the monitorial fangs after morning school. The natural thing, of course, on not finding him at home in his own quarters, was to look for him in Telson’s. But he was not there, nor, strange to say, was Telson himself. And, what was still more odd, when search came to be made, Bosher, another fag of Parrett’s house, was missing, and so was Lawkins, and Pringle, and King, and Wakefield, and one or two others of the same glorious company. After a fruitless search, the oarsmen had finally to go down to the river without a fag at all, and impound the boat-boy to steer for them.

The fact was, Parson’s miraculous release from the hands of the law that morning, and the reason which led to it, had suggested both to himself and the faithful Telson that the present was rather a rare opportunity for them in the annals of Willoughby. If there was no captain, there was no one to give them a licking (for the worst an ordinary monitor could do was to give an imposition), and that being so, it would surely be a waste of precious opportunity if they failed to signalise the event by some little celebration. And, as it happened, there was a little celebration which badly wanted celebrating, and for which only a chance like the present could have been considered favourable. In other words, there was a rather long score which the juniors of Parrett’s were anxious to settle up with the juniors of Welch’s. The debt was of long standing, having begun as far back as the middle of the Lent term, when the Welchers had played upon some of Parrett’s with a hose from behind their own door, and culminating in the unprovoked outrage upon the luckless Parson on the river that very morning.

Now if there was one thing more than another the young Parretts prided themselves in, it was their punctuality in matters of business; and it had troubled them sorely that circumstances over which they had no control (in other words, the fear of Wyndham) should have prevented their settling scores with the Welchers at an earlier date.

Now, however, an opportunity was come, and, like all honest men, they determined at once to avail themselves of it.

So the reason why Bloomfield and Game could find no fags in Parrett’s house to steer for them was because all the fags of Parrett’s house, aided by Telson of the schoolhouse, were at that moment paying a business call at Welch’s, and having on the whole rather a lively time of it.

The juniors of Welch’s were, take them altogether, a rather more rowdy lot than the juniors of either of the two other houses, or, indeed, than those of both the other houses put together. Somehow Welch’s was always the rowdy house of Willoughby. The honours of the school, whether in class or in field, always seemed to go in any direction but their own, and as, for five or six years at any rate, they had been unable to claim any one distinguished Willoughbite as a member of their house, they had come to regard themselves somewhat in the light of Ishmaelites. Everybody’s hand seemed to be against them, and they therefore didn’t see why their hand shouldn’t be against every one.

It was this feeling which had prompted the assaults of which the youthful Parretts had come to complain, and which the Welchers distributed as impartially as possible among all their fellow Willoughbites.