“Mr Limpet, sir,”—(loud laughter; Isaacs, who had been drawing niggers on the paper before him, started, and blushed very much to find himself thus appealed to)—“I am sure we are all much obliged to the honourable member who has just sat down for the ‘sign of intelligence’ he has just favoured us with. (Laughter.) We’ve been looking for it for a long time—(laughter)—and it’s come at last! (Cheers and laughter.) Sir, it would be a great pity to let such an occasion pass without notice. I’m not sure that the doctor might not think it worth a half-holiday. A sign of intelligence from the hon. gentleman! And what is the sign, sir? (Laughter.) The hon. member seconds the motion.” (“Hear, hear!” from Parrett’s.) “Gentlemen of the same party say ‘Hear, hear!’ as much as to say, ‘We, too, show signs of intelligence!’ Do you really, gentlemen? I could not have believed it. (Loud laughter.) Why does he second the motion? Because he’s a Parrett’s boy, and Mr Bloomfield is a Parrett’s boy, and all Parrett’s boys say a Parrett’s boy ought to be the head of the school! Gentlemen, parrots aren’t always to be trusted, even when they show signs of intelligence! (Cheers and laughter.) Don’t you believe all a parrot tells you about parrots. (Laughter.) I prefer the arguments of the gentleman who moved the amendment. He says he doesn’t think Mr Riddell is fit to be captain. (Cheers.) I agree with him—(tremendous Parrett’s cheers, and consternation of schoolhouse)—I don’t think Mr Riddell is fit to be captain. He doesn’t think so himself.” (“Hear, hear!” from Riddell, and laughter.) “But the gentleman says Mr Bloomfield is the man. (Loud cheers.) I don’t agree with that at all. Mr Riddell knows very little about sports, though I do hear he was seen coxing a schoolhouse boat this morning. (Derisive cheers.) Mr Bloomfield knows almost as little about classics! (Loud laughter from the schoolhouse.) Why, gentlemen, do you mean to say you think a fellow who couldn’t translate ‘Balbus hopped over a wall’ without looking up three words in a lexicon is fit to be a Willoughby captain?” (Laughter from the juniors, and cries of “Time!” from Parretts.) “I say not. Even though he’s a Parrett’s boy, and therefore can show a sign of intelligence! (Laughter.) No; what I say is, whether we believe in him or not, Mr Riddell is captain; and until you can show me a less bad one, I’ll vote for him.”
This oration, delivered with great animation and amidst constant laughter, helped to put the meeting in rather better humour, all except the Parrett’s fellows, who did not enjoy it at all.
However, before any of them could make up his mind to reply, a shrill voice was heard from the other end of the hall, “Sir! It is time the Welchers had a word!”
This innocent announcement caused a loud burst of laughter, in which every one joined, especially when it was discovered that the orator was none other than the youthful Mr Pilbury himself!
He stood surrounded by a small cluster of admiring juniors, who glared defiantly out on the assembly generally, and “backed up their man” till he could hardly breathe.
“It’s all very well,” screamed Pilbury. (Loud cheers from Cusack and Philpot.) But here the chairman’s hammer sounded and cries of “Order” checked the orator’s progress.
“The hon. member,” said Isaacs, “cannot propose his motion till the motion before the House is disposed of.”
Pilbury scowled fiercely at the speaker.
“I shall propose it,” he cried, “and you’d better shut up, old Ikey!”
Game, amid much laughter, rose to order, and asked if these expressions were parliamentary?