“Don’t ask questions, and you won’t be told no whoppers,” astutely replied Trimble. “I wonder if he expects us to back him up?”
“I sha’n’t,” said one. “Nor shall I,” said one or two others.
“I vote we let him alone,” said Coxhead. “What’s he got to do with us? When does he come across us? Only when there’s a row on. He’s got nothing at all to say to us at other times.”
“You mean, if we want to let him alone we shall have to shut up rows?” inquired Langrish. “Rather rough, isn’t it?”
“Not if he knows the reason,” suggested I. “Let’s send him a round-robin and let him know.”
“Not half a bad idea.”
Whereupon the following candid epistle was concocted and signed by all present:—
“To T. Crofter, Esquire, Captain Sharpe’s pro tem., etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
“Dear Crofter,—We the undersigned Philosophers wish to say we’re going steady this term on our own hooks, and hope you will not think it’s because of you. We don’t want to be interfered with by any chap except old Tempest, who ought to be cock of Sharpe’s, so we’ve decided to go steady, so as not to be interfered with, because we would rather not you interfered with us, because we’re all serene and are backing up Tempest, and hope he’ll pull off the Mile that you’ve not entered for. We aren’t down on you, because you pulled Tempest through last term, but it’s rough you’re cock of the house instead of him, and therefore on that account we are going steady, so as not to give you the fag of interfering with us, which we don’t mind Tempest doing because we consider he has more right to interfere with us than you. Hoping you are well and in good health, as this leaves us, Believe us, with kind regards to all at home, Yours very kindly and in alphabetical order, so that you needn’t know who started this letter. Samuel Wilberforce Coxhead, Thomas Jones, Everard Langrish, Jonathan T. Purkis, Alfred James Remington Trimble, Percy Algernon Warminster, and others.”
This important document, the writing of which, I grieve to say, necessitated frequent reference to the English Dictionary, Langrish, as Crofter’s fag, undertook to deliver, and faithfully discharged his mission by leaving it on the captain’s table when he was out of his study.