A warm argument ensued, which knocked over the table, and was only composed by my reminding the club that we didn’t want to disturb the peace of the new cock of the house on his first night.
“All right,” said Langrish, “where was I?—‘English grammar. Purkis, not having paid his subscription, naturally came out too low to be classed, but to give him a lift he was allowed to be stuck in between Trim and Coxhead, who being outsiders at the best of times, had plenty of room for another.’”
“All very well—what sort of howler did you come?” asked the outraged Purkis.
“‘It being considered well to stick one Selkirker into the list, the hon. secretary made room for Corderoy, and is hereby thanked on his retirement.’”
“Hullo!” said I, “don’t say that, Langrish.”
“Fact is,” said Langrish, dropping the minutes, “I’ve got to. I’ve gone down, you see.”
“Oh, but you’ve worked like a cart-horse. I move, Trim seconds, Warminster thirds, Coxhead fourths, Purkis fifths, and the paupers sixth, that old Lang be and hereby is perpetual secretary of the Ph.C.C., and that it’s all rot his retiring.”
“Oh, all serene,” said Langrish, evidently pleased. “That’s your look-out. Where was I?—‘thanked on his retirement, but as nobody else can read his writing, he is hereby asked to hang on, which he hereby does. The meeting then adjourned.’”
We decided to celebrate the evening by a state tea, as which the usual loyal and patriotic toasts were given; of which I will only trouble the reader with one, that delivered by Warminster, the late president.
“It’s a sell, of course, getting down; but we all had a good look in, and Sal’s come out best man this once. We aren’t going to jack it up though, and he’ll have to mind his eye (cheers). After all, what with the mess he made over Tempest’s bills (loud cheers), and the shindy about the guy, and all that rot about the barge, he’s shown he’s fit for the job (laughter). But he’ll have to make a good show-up for Sharpe’s now, or we’ll let him know. We’ve scored a bit of a record, and we don’t want to fool it away (loud cheers), and any fellow who doesn’t put it on doesn’t deserve to be a Ph.C.C. or anything like (prolonged applause). Gentlemen, with these remarks I beg to give the health of ‘the army and navy and reserve forces’ (loud cheers).”