“From time to time, our Books of Numbers tell us, Plookh have formed communities and attempted to resist extermination by united effort. In vain; they merely disappeared in groups instead of individually. We never had the time to perfect a workable system of defense, to devise such splendid things as weapons—which we understand humans have. That is why we rejoiced so at your coming. At last—”
“Save the pats on the back. I’m here to do a job, to make a stereo that will be at least an epic, even if I don’t have the raw material of a saga. Give me a line on how all this works.”
“May I say that whether it is an epic or a saga, we will still be grateful and sing the greatness of your name forever? Just so we are set on the path of civilization; just so we learn to construct impregnable dwellings and—”
“Sure. Sure. Wait till I get me a fresh bottle. Now—what are your seven sexes and how do you go about making families?”
I reflected carefully. I knew full well what a responsibility was mine at that moment; how important it was that I give our benefactor completely accurate information to aid him in the making of stereos, the first step we must take toward civilization.
“Please understand that much of this is beyond our ken. We know what seems to happen, but for an explanation we use the theories of the first flame ship’s biologists. Unfortunately, their theories were multiple and couched in human terms which even they admitted were somewhat elementary when applied to the process of Plookh reproduction. We sacrificed a whole generation of the fanobrel family for microscopic experimentation and only a broad outline was worked out. Our seven sexes are—”
“I heard it was complicated,” Shlestertrap interrupted. “The biologists left five miles of figures in the Venusian Section of the Interplanetary Cultural Mission after they returned from this expedition. You see, there was an election right after that: a new party came in and fired them. I wasn’t going to wade through all that scientific junk, no sir! One of them—Gogarty, I think—pulled every wire there was to take this job away from me and come here in my place. Some people just can’t stand being out after they’ve been politically in for so long. Me, I’m here to make stereos—good ones. I’m here to do just what the prospectus of the Venusian Section called for—’bring culture to the Plookhh as per request.’ ”
“Thank you. We did wonder why the Gogarty—pardon—why Gogarty didn’t return; he expressed such an enormous interest in our ways and welfare. But no doubt the operation of firing him by the new party after the election was far more productive in the human scheme of things. We have not yet advanced to the state of parties and elections or any such tools. To us one human is as omniscient and magnificent as the other. Of course, you understand all relevant data on human genetics?”
“Sure. You mean chromosomes and stuff?”
I flapped my small tentacle eagerly. “Yes, chromosomes and stuff. Especially stuff. I think it is the part about ‘stuff’ that has made the whole subject somewhat difficult for us. Gogarty never mentioned it. All he discussed were chromosomes and genes.”