The Greeks were wonderfully happy in their titles. One work they called Κηρίον, which means that it was as sweet as a honeycomb; another Κέρας Ἀμαλθείας, or Cornu copiæ, so that you might expect to get even a draught of pigeon’s milk from it[62]. Then they have their Flowers, their Muses, Magazines, Manuals, Gardens, Pictures, and Sketches[63], all of them titles for which a man might be tempted even to forfeit his bail. But when you enter upon the works, O ye Gods and Goddesses! how full of emptiness! Our duller countrymen have merely their Antiquities, or their Examples, or their Arts. I think one of the most humorous of them has his Nocturnal Studies[64], a term employed by Bibaculus; a name which he richly deserved[65]. Varro, indeed, is not much behind him, when he calls one of his satires A Trick and a Half, and another Turning the Tables[66]. Diodorus was the first among the Greeks who laid aside this trifling manner and named his history The Library[67]. Apion, the grammarian, indeed—he whom Tiberius Cæsar called the Trumpeter of the World, but would rather seem to be the Bell of the Town-crier[68],—supposed that every one to whom he inscribed any work would thence acquire immortality. I do not regret not having given my work a more fanciful title.
That I may not, however, appear to inveigh so completely against the Greeks, I should wish to be considered under the same point of view with those inventors of the arts of painting and sculpture, of whom you will find an account in these volumes, whose works, although they are so perfect that we are never satisfied with admiring them, are inscribed with a temporary title[69], such as “Apelles, or Polycletus, was doing this;” implying that the work was only commenced and still imperfect, and that the artist might benefit by the criticisms that were made on it and alter any part that required it, if he had not been prevented by death. It is also a great mark of their modesty, that they inscribed their works as if they were the last which they had executed, and as still in hand at the time of their death. I think there are but three works of art which are inscribed positively with the words “such a one executed this;” of these I shall give an account in the proper place. In these cases it appears, that the artist felt the most perfect satisfaction with his work, and hence these pieces have excited the envy of every one.
I, indeed, freely admit, that much may be added to my works; not only to this, but to all which I have published. By this admission I hope to escape from the carping critics[70], and I have the more reason to say this, because I hear that there are certain Stoics and Logicians[71], and also Epicureans (from the Grammarians[72] I expected as much), who are big with something against the little work I published on Grammar[73]; and that they have been carrying these abortions for ten years together—a longer pregnancy this than the elephant’s[74]. But I well know, that even a woman once wrote against Theophrastus, a man so eminent for his eloquence that he obtained his name, which signifies the Divine speaker[75], and that from this circumstance originated the proverb of choosing a tree to hang oneself[76].
I cannot refrain from quoting the words of Cato the censor, which are so pertinent to this point. It appears from them, that even Cato, who wrote commentaries on military discipline[77], and who had learned the military art under Africanus, or rather under Hannibal (for he could not endure Africanus[78], who, when he was his general, had borne away the triumph from him), that Cato, I say, was open to the attacks of such as caught at reputation for themselves by detracting from the merits of others. And what does he say in his book? “I know, that when I shall publish what I have written, there will be many who will do all they can to depreciate it, and, especially, such as are themselves void of all merit; but I let their harangues glide by me.” Nor was the remark of Plancus[79] a bad one, when Asinius Pollio[80] was said to be preparing an oration against him, which was to be published either by himself or his children, after the death of Plancus, in order that he might not be able to answer it: “It is only ghosts that fight with the dead.” This gave such a blow to the oration, that in the opinion of the learned generally, nothing was ever thought more scandalous. Feeling myself, therefore, secure against these vile slanderers[81], a name elegantly composed by Cato, to express their slanderous and vile disposition (for what other object have they, but to wrangle and breed quarrels?), I will proceed with my projected work.
And because the public good requires that you should be spared as much as possible from all trouble, I have subjoined to this epistle the contents of each of the following books[82], and have used my best endeavours to prevent your being obliged to read them all through. And this, which was done for your benefit, will also serve the same purpose for others, so that any one may search for what he wishes, and may know where to find it. This has been already done among us by Valerius Soranus, in his work which he entitled “On Mysteries[83].”
The 1st book is the Preface of the Work, dedicated to Titus Vespasian Cæsar.
The 2nd is on the World, the Elements, and the Heavenly Bodies[84].
The 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th books are on Geography, in which is contained an account of the situation of the different countries, the inhabitants, the seas, towns, harbours, mountains, rivers, and dimensions, and the various tribes, some of which still exist and others have disappeared.
The 7th is on Man, and the Inventions of Man.
The 8th on the various kinds of Land Animals.