Why is the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland like a man inquiring what o'clock it is?—Because he is as King for the time.
If a pair of spectacles could speak, what author would they name?—Eusebius—(You see by us.)
Why is a flourishing landlord sure to have plenty of relatives?—Because he must have Ten-ants.
What are the best shoes for wet weather?—Pumps.
Why is a sermon on board ship like Sir Edward Codrington's red ribband?—Because it is a deck oration.
Why is a very little devil sitting on the top of a cow-house like a man who has squandered all his property?—Because he is Imp over a shed.
What sea would one wish to be in on a rainy night?—A dry attic.
Why is a libeller in Newgate like a traveller who has caught a rheumatism at a bad inn?—Because he suffers for lying in damp sheets!
Why is a gentleman in a Calais packet on a stormy day, like a gentleman sailing in part of the Mediterranean?—Because he is amongst the Cyclades.