From this it is sufficiently obvious, that the way is very narrow for the flesh, which must remain here; this must be ventured, or one cannot be worthy of being a disciple of Christ.
But I trust that with Jacob we shall all desire the beautiful Rachel, namely, the kingdom of heaven, but this cannot be, we must first have Leah with her running eyes. For our trying, also the head was tried, who had done no sin; how then should not the members be tried? for then only he thoroughly sees whether a man fears, loves and trusts him from the heart; whether he does not love his life more than his salvation. Concerning this necessary trial to which many saints of God were subjected, we have many examples in the holy Scriptures; as Abel, Jacob, Moses, David, Job, the three young men in the furnace, Daniel, Susannah, the seven brothers with their mother, many prophets, apostles, and many saints after them, and also in my time.
Now it is my time, the Lord be praised, for I know that I am unworthy that I should place myself among this number; but the good, merciful God counts me worthy, to fulfill the number of the martyrs who rest in Christ, and are waiting for their number to be fulfilled by those who should also be slain as they, for the testimony of Christ which was in them, and is in me, through Christ; which Christ has always, from the beginning of the world, been despised, evil spoken of, and cast out. Therefore I suffer for a little while; otherwise there is nothing for them to take exception to in me; they know nothing evil to allege against me, the Lord be praised. Hence I suffer now with Christ, as a Christian, for well doing, that my faith may be found much more precious than gold which perisheth. Thus does God try his chosen; but in time of need he faithfully helps us; this (how wonderfully God works in his chosen) I have experienced in my distress. Yea, I have very great joy, that he has kept my lips from beginning to end, this alleviated my sufferings, when my filthy, stinking carcass (evil in its nature) was suffering, being suspended and scourged two different times; but now that it is over, I have joy in my heart. The first time that I was tortured, was the last Saturday in February; and the other the Wednesday after. But, dearest father and mother, be not dismayed on this account, but rejoice with me, that we have such a strong God, who so faithfully helps us; for he fights our battle, he will not let us be confounded. For, consider the ancient times, whether any one was ever confounded that trusted in him; for he hears, says David, the cry of the poor, and their heart is sure that his ears attend unto their prayer. Thus, firmly believe God’s word, and trust in him, and he will keep his promise; for this you must know, that though the outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. Moreover, our temporal affliction is brief and light; of this I can now write; and it works for us a far more exceeding weight of glory, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.
We endure the visible, and wait with joy for the invisible, eternal joy, in firm confidence and a living hope, which shall not make us ashamed.
Then shall they who were faithful unto death in the truth, confessed the name of Christ before the world, and put off the mortal clothing be crowned; these shall be honored by the young man, Christ Jesus, as Esdras testifies. 2 Esd. 2:43. Hence, I am of good cheer in the Lord, be also of good cheer. For when the suffering was over, I was as though I had had a fall: so that I can say, What is suffering when it is over? it is not to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18. O how joyful we shall be when we shall see that the children of God are such glorious kings, shining forth as the sun. Then shall the rulers of this world see whom they have pierced, whom they have mocked, despised and tortured; then they shall bewail it, but it shall then be too late. Hence I beseech you, be resigned, and thank the Lord, that you have raised such a son who is called to such a holy state.
It is no wonder, that this happens to me; consider John, than whom a holier has not been born of women, and who lived so austere a life, but yet was imprisoned and put to death; yea, Christ himself, Stephen, Peter, James, who did so many miracles, and so many good works, and were nevertheless put to death. Hence Christ says: The servant is not better than his lord. Thus there must be striving, and the kingdom of God must be taken by force, for the violent take it by force; for we are called, not only to believe in Christ, but also to suffer for him, and to help bear the sufferings and reproach of Christ. Though our earthly tabernacle perish, we doubtless expect a better in heaven. We are as sheep for the slaughter; who are not worthy of the world, we are to them filth, offscouring, and fools, for Christ’s sake; but we are God’s elect out of grace, through the blood of Jesus Christ, which alone cleanses us from all our sins, who alone by his sufferings and merits makes us worthy of his eternal kingdom; to him be praise, glory, honor and power for ever and ever. Amen. By me your beloved son, after I had striven unto blood against my enemies, this first day of March, A. D. 1572.
My suffering sounds fearful, but I do not think that it lasted more than two hours in all. I do not know that I was in torture two hours; should one therefore deny the Lord? God forbid!
Finally, I pray your love, that you mourn not for me, but rejoice from the heart, and praise God, that he separated your firstborn son from the womb, to bear his great and glorious name before the rulers of the world, and that the faithful God has so faithfully helped me. for I was scourged thrice, and suspended four times. But Christ had suffered still more. And after the suffering I received great joy of the Holy Ghost, yea, that I wept for joy, because he has kept our lips, and does not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able to bear. I have deemed it necessary to write of those wonderful deeds of God, and to spread them, in order that you should also become bold in the truth; and I leave you this as a testament in remembrance of me, that the Spirit of God, which makes me strong and bold, may also thus confirm and lead you according to his will, who created you, and that you may love each other: for if you loved each other, and lived peaceably, when you were in blindness, how much more ought you to love each other, and to live peaceably, now that your eyes are enlightened through the grace of God. And always pray the Lord, to give you still more grace, which he will also do; if you are found faithful in the little which you have already received, he will trust you with still more. Yea, he will give the Holy Ghost to all who ask him for it; but one must first depart from evil, deny himself, and say with Paul: “Lord, what wilt thou have me do?” When the heart is thus entirely surrendered, the Lord will further work and fulfill in you, because there is a good will in you. And always humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and he shall exalt you in due time, as he has promised in many places; so that we may together be exalted by Christ our eternal Savior, whither I will now go before, and will much rather first give the mortal mantle of flesh, than that I should consent to the whore of Babylon. I will rather be slain by Cain, than on his account leave undone that which is pleasing to God. I will rather be stoned with Naboth, than sell my heavenly Father’s inheritance, as Esau sold his birthright. Rather be stoned with Susannah, than do the will of the false rulers. Rather go with Daniel in the lion’s den, than that I should kneel down before wood, stone, gold, silver, bread, wine, or oil. Rather go with the young men in the fiery furnace, than worship the image, which was set up, since it is written, that the Lord God alone is to be worshiped. Deut. 6. May the same purify you, my much beloved father and my much beloved mother, and through Christ his beloved Son, and the co-operation of the Holy Ghost, make you meet for his eternal kingdom, so that we may hereafter in the future world see one another with eternal joy. O heavenly Father, I who am but dust and ashes, beseech thee here in my bonds, through Jesus Christ, grant hereunto thy unfathomable grace. Amen.
Adieu in this transient world. O that you knew what joy I have; you would, I hope, be still more resigned. Finished this second day of March, My hand is somewhat better again; I bear in my body the marks of our Lord. The faith is kept. I have striven unto blood; in this the holy name of the Lord be glorified forever. Amen.
Jan Wouterss van Kuyck.
Imprisoned in the Vuylpoort, at Dortrecht.