Further, my dearest, I inform your love, that I received your letter, whereby my heart was greatly comforted and rejoiced, so that for joy I could not refrain from weeping; which was a sure sign of godly sorrow, and the same worketh to salvation. 2 Cor. 7:10. Thus I understood from it your great grief, much greater than you can say or write. But, my dearest, I pray you by the mercies of God, that you will to some extent lay aside your grief concerning me, and remember how, or in what manner we received each other from the hand of the Most High; was it not under the condition, that the Lord should always be the dearest, and that we must leave each other, if it be his holy will? And now your love well knows, that this is certainly the will of the Lord, and nothing else; for if it had not been the will of the Lord, I would have escaped as well as you. Hence, my beloved, let us be moderate, and be content with such things as we have (Heb. 13:5), as I hope from your love that you will do, and, if you think it well, rather let the girl go, and keep your child with you. And in the meantime, teach him something yourself, and diligently keep him busy at something with you. But above all, I pray you, take good heed to yourself, for the Proctor General questioned me much in regard to you, and at divers times they asked me concerning my brother, but I did not answer them thereupon; but they knew it well already, as they said. And Daniel de Keyser came into my cage, and also asked me much in regard to my brother. They also questioned me concerning my child, and whether he was not baptized, which I told them; hence take good heed, or peradventure they might take him, and greater trouble might result from it. We shall probably have time to write more about this matter; but now I write only a little of this and a little of that, for my head is not in a condition to write much, but I hope that it will improve. To-day I have been greatly tired with speaking against two Jesuits concerning our faith; in the presence of the clerk of the criminal court, and Master Jacob Hesseling, the Proctor General, and a councilor; but the Lord be forever praised and thanked, they had to give up with ignominy.
I hope by and by to write more fully about every thing. Tell my dear brother, also to write something, and greet him much for me, as also his wife, and my dear sister, with the peace of the Lord, and that they write me something, since I am exceedingly much burdened and concerned for them. And take good heed, for no one knows what bonds are, except he that tries them, this I may well say, for which I thank and praise the Lord with a joyful heart. I hope that I am over the worst and my heart is much resigned in suffering or affliction, and in death, but when I begin to think of parting from my love, and my dear son, then I cannot compose my heart so easily. But this comforts me much, that my child can keep his mother. And be not over-careful, my love; the Most high cares for you and also for your child; and our dear Lord has shown us much grace, that he has permitted us to live together so long. Yea, be not too careful, this I pray you, my love; but cast your care entirely and gladly upon the Lord; he will provide for you, and give you another husband in my place, if it be for your good. Ps. 55:22; 1 Pet. 5:7; Philip. 4:6.
Herewith I will commend you, my dearest wife and sister in the Lord, to the almighty God and to the rich word of his grace; adieu, my love.
O you have been such a good and excellent housekeeper to me; O my love, I thank you from the depths of my heart for your great faithfulness and willing service, which you have so faithfully shown me in all obedience. And I pray you all, dear friends, that you would diligently help me pray to the Lord, for it is now time, the conflict is nearing its height, this I well experience, and I apprehend that Jeronymus, our brother, will also experience it; the Lord be gracious unto him; I comfort him now and then, as best I can.
Greet Vintgen from me with the peace of the Lord, and let me know, how it went with them all. Greet Jan and Klaerken from me; and K., and tell him to write me something. And also greet in my name all those that fear God, and always associate with the righteous, and you will become more righteous still. Adieu, adieu.
Written in the dark, on the 24th of May, A. D. 1576. Adieu, my wife, adieu, my child.
On Thursday the 24th of May I was brought before the lords once more, and there sat two Jesuits. I was very feeble from the torturing. They began and asked me, why I had suffered myself to be so long seduced, and questioned me concerning my faith. Then I said: “Have I come here to teach you? by no means. Do you confess your faith to me? I am come to be instructed.” Then he began to confess his faith, just like children that are learning. “Well, this is my faith,” he said. Then I said: “Prove it with the word of God, and I will also believe it.” Then he began from John 3, that the children must be baptized; also from Mark 16 and Matt. 28, where he so entangled himself, that he did not see how he could get out of it; and went from there [he went on] to circumcision, where he likewise knew not what to do. Finally they had to confess that it did not apply to baptism which greatly surprised me. And when they saw that all that they did went backwards, they all began to talk Latin at the same time, and I sat there and looked on. Eamus (let us go), they said, and wanted to go, for it struck eleven and we had come together a little after eight. And when they were determined to go, I said: “I pray you, my lords, write your faith down for me, so that I can consider it.” But they would not do it. “If you do not believe our words,” said they, “you would not believe our writing.”
O, thought I, if I could get that, I should have you; I should soon show to you, that your faith is not contained in the Scriptures.
Further, on the 25th of May there came the penitentiary from the bishop, and another, and Friar Pieter de Backer, and they approached me very subtly. They led me upon a very high mountain, and [said that] if I would yield just a little, all should be well. Master Jacob Heyselinck said Yes, he should help me, and the matter was in his power; that I should only seemingly recant a little: “Dear Raphel, how sorry I am; it pierces me to my very heart.” Then I said: “O my lords, you say that I should recant a little; This I will gladly do; yea I will recant altogether, if you can show me something better than the word of God; but not otherwise, or my faith should not rest upon the word of God, but upon the words of men, and I well know what the prophet says: Cursed be the man that trusteth in man. Jer. 17:5. O my lords, that would not be converting; you would have to prove it to me with the holy Scriptures, or we shall not do it.” And after many words we parted once more, and I thanked them for their trouble. Sometime afterwards the clerk of the criminal court, the Proctor, and Friar Pieter de Backer came and entreated me again. I said I was sorry that they entreated me. They said: “But we shall show it to you very clearly;” and commenced another mystery concerning the incarnation of Christ. And when I began to answer, he put his Testament away. And many other things they said. Then I said: “If it is your pleasure, I shall reply to you upon every thing, one after the other;” and when they heard how I began to answer them, they slipped away and said adieu, and I did the same. And Friar Pieter said: “I shall come again in a day or two.” “If you please.” said I. “O,” said he, “how sorry your mother must be.” But I said nothing. And in the afternoon they sent me a book, entitled “The Shield against the Anabaptists,” which I should read; and in two or three days the penitentiary should come to see me again.
Here, dear brethren and sisters altogether, you may have heard whether I suffer temptation or not, but I write it only very briefly, else it would take much too long to write it. But the Lord be thanked for his great grace, who so faithfully strengthens me and governs my mouth to his praise. Though the outward man perish, this is small loss; the inward man is renewed from day to day, for which eternal praise and thanks be to the Lord, for I may now well say with Pieter van Werwicke: