Punch and Judy, with Instructions How to Manage the Little Wooden Actors / Containing New and Easy Dialogues Arranged for the Use of Beginners, Desirous to Learn How to Work the Puppets. For Sunday Schools, Private Parties, Festivals and Parlor Entertainments.

by Thomas A. M. Ward

Punch.—No it don't: What do you get in your little mug every morning, when you go round the corner, for your mother?

Polly.—Whiskey!

Punch.—That will do, now go to bed. That child is more than seven years old! He starts Polly off to bed and as she makes her exit, she exclaims, Uncle, don't forget the dollar!

Punch sings—

"Polly put the kettle on we will all drink tea,
Barney let the girls alone and let them quiet be."

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Act II.

(Enter Policeman, accompanied by black Joe, the Doctor's servant.)

Joe.—Yes sah, I know him—he can't fool dis child: (looking about him he espies Punch) dah he—dah he is! Dat him—dat's ole Punch.

Punch.—Here's a pretty brace of ducks. (The Policeman at the sight of Punch's stick, sneaks off unseen by the negro, leaving poor Joe all alone with Punch.)