Punch and Judy, with Instructions How to Manage the Little Wooden Actors / Containing New and Easy Dialogues Arranged for the Use of Beginners, Desirous to Learn How to Work the Puppets. For Sunday Schools, Private Parties, Festivals and Parlor Entertainments.

by Thomas A. M. Ward

Punch.—In self defence.

J. K.—Punch that won't do—you are too tough to live.

Punch.—Jack, the old devil will never get all that is due him, until he gets you in his bony arms.

J. K.—That's all bosh: your time is nearly up. I want you to put your head into this halter and I'll give you the best swing you ever had.

Punch.—Jack, if my head was in that rope, I would not take it out, but, as it is out, I'll never put it in.

J. K.—Mr. Punch, be a good fellow—you are a considerable burden to me and I want to get the load off my hands; oblige me by being hung, here is the noose, just put your head in here.

Punch.—Through that place there? (Pointing to the noose.) I don't know how.

J. K.—It is very easy: only put your head in that loop,—here,—take the noose.

Punch.—What so? (Poking his head on one side of the noose then on the other side.)

J. K.—Not so, you fool.