Punch and Judy, with Instructions How to Manage the Little Wooden Actors / Containing New and Easy Dialogues Arranged for the Use of Beginners, Desirous to Learn How to Work the Puppets. For Sunday Schools, Private Parties, Festivals and Parlor Entertainments.

by Thomas A. M. Ward

Judy.—Punch, where's that child? Tell me quickly.

Punch.—The Child cried and I dropped it out at the window.

Judy.—I'll drop you on the floor—depend upon it—where is my stick? (Exit Judy.)

Punch.—There she goes—three feet three inches and a chaw tobacco high. (He sings) "there was an old woman who lived in her shoe—shoe—shew!"

(Re-enter Judy with a stick; she comes in behind him and hits Punch a square blow on the back of the head before he is aware.)

Judy.—You monster—I'll teach you how to hold a child—you nasty puke.

Punch.—So-o-oftly—Judy my dear so-o-oftly! (rubbing the back of his head with his hands) don't be a fool!

Judy.—You'll drop my poor child out at the window will you? (hitting him continually on his head.)

Punch.—Don't Judy—stop I tell you—a joke is a joke.

Judy.—You cruel man—you think it is a joke do you—it is no joke with me to have my poor dear child beat to death! I'll show you how to use a child. (Hits him.)