Col. Your Women of Condition, Pox on em, are like Noblemen's Dinners, all Garniture and no Meat, then, the Ceremony of Approach and Retire, palls a Man's Inclination, 'till he grows indifferent i' the Matter;— Wou'd you Charm me, give me a ruddy Country Wench to riffe on the Grass, with no other resistance than,—What a Dickens, is the Man berwattl'd, you are an impudent, bold Rogue, and I'll call my Mother: Besides, the fear of Scandal makes your great Ladies preserve a foolish kind of Virtue, their Principles wou'd fain get rid of.
Sir Har. You are deceiv'd, Collonel, Women of Quality are above Reputation.—Is it my Lady Tipple-dram's Modesty, or the effect of Ratifia, that gives her a high Colour in the Drawing-room?—Is my Lady Sluggard's Religion question'd, that has never been at Church since her Baptism, or my Lady Gamesom's Virtue suspected for admiring Collonel Sturdy's Regiment; both Sexes of Rank, now, use what Liberty they please without censuring one another, and consequently despise the tattling of Inferiours.
Col. Ha! what pert Fellow's this, that whisks it along in a Silk-Drugget Suit, with the empty Air of a Fop Mercer, or a Judge's Train-bearer?
Sir Har. Oh! 'Tis young Nicknack, a Beau Merchant, his Father dy'd lately, and left him considerably in Money, he has been bred to business, with a Liberty of Pleasure, a little vain and affected as most young Fellows are; but his Foppery is rather pretty and diverting than tiresome and impertinent. For his Father obliging him still to live in the City, and follow Business, he has turn'd Commerce into a Jest, and calls himself, The Ladies Merchant; for he imports nothing but Squirrels, Lap-dogs and Guinea piggs to insnare the Women.
Enter Nicknack.
Nick. Dear Sir Harry, I have been twice round the Park, in search of you.
Sir Har. Mr. Nicknack pray know the Collonel here; an intimate
Friend o'mine just arriv'd from Flanders.
Nick. Sir, I kiss your Hands, I am glad to find for the Ladies sake, as well as your own, you are not the least disabl'd I wou'd give Ten Guineas, Collonel, to see an Engagement, cou'd one be secure from a Cannon Bullet.
Col. Ten Guineas to see an Engagement; wou'd you make a show of Desolation, and have Men kill one another to divert your Spleen? What shou'd any one do i'the Field, that's afraid of a Cannon Bullet?
Nic. 'Tis not impossible, Sir, in a whole Army, to find a Person as little dispos'd to swallow a Cannon Bullet as my self; but I shou'd have this preference to him, as I wou'd avoid fighting, I wou'd ask no Pay.