Sir Har. 'Tis Major Bramble, a factious, seditious old Rogue, that's neither Whig, nor Tory, but an Enemy to his own Country; he hates the Government, because the Government don't like him; repines at all our Successes; and his Bosom Friends are Minters, Owlers, Pettifoggers, Nonjurors that won't swear to the Government, and Irish Evidences that will swear to any thing.
Enter Major Bramble.
Heav'n guard the Court!—What cursed Plot's now hatching, that brings the grumbling Major to the Park?
Bram. The Government, Sir Harry, will ne'er suspect my policy at plotting, when I have no more sense than to trust a Wit with it; but the Company I keep, may with wondrous ease form a Plot past your finding out.
Sir Har. What, cowardly Bullies, tatter'd Gam'sters, and Fellows that have been twice transported, poor, unhappy scoundrels that disturb the Nation to please you rich Male-Contents, and are hang'd for their reward.
Bram. Those Gentlemen, Sir Harry, you're pleas'd to term scoundrels, I honour; he that takes sanctuary in the Fleet, has an immediate place in my Heart; the Heroes of the Mint are a formidable Body, magnanimously sowse ev'ry Fellow in a Ditch that dares to infringe their Liberties; he that's committed to Newgate is in a fair way to Immortality;—He that stands in the Pillory is exalted to a very high Station; the Observator is my very good Friend; and he that writes the Review a Person of a most incomparable Assurance.
Col. But where's the Satisfaction of admiring what's Rascally?
Bram. You're mistaken, Sir, Virtue's oppress'd; these are the only Men of worth i'the Nation, and since the World's compos'd chiefly of Knaves and Hypocrites, it behoves ev'ry honest Fellow to over-reach the World; therefore he that runs away from his Creditors is a Man of admirable Principles, and his Creditors are very great Rogues.
Col. But why d'you hate the Government, Major, what harm has that done you.
Bram. Why, Sir, I was formerly in a very good Office, was turn'd out for Bribery, and have had none giv'n me since, therefore while the Government takes no notice of me, I'll take no notice of the Government.