Nick. Your brutish Temper, Major, wou'd make one fancy you were born in Greenland, and suckl'd by a Wolf.
Bram. Better be suckl'd in Greenland than in Essex; a Wolf's a nobler Creature than a Calf; for now young Fellows are so nicely bred, so fondl'd, and so furbelow'd with Follies, they scarce retain the Species of a Man; for my part, I have Magick in my Looks, I have frighted a High-Priest into Quakerism; converted a Jew to no Religion at all, and possess'd Squire Lacy with a Spirit of Prophetick Lying; I can turn a Justice of Peace into a Jack-Daw, a Citizen into any tame kind of Beast, and an old fadling Judge into a fidgetting Dry-Nurse—But I find, Madam, you are got into a Beau-Chat, where my rough Language is as disagreeable, as martial Musick at White's Chocolate-House; tho', were I a Lady of a great Estate, I'd show as great Sagacity in despising the Fops, and think my Fortune prodigiously repaid in the Affections of so renown'd a Person as Major-Bramble. [Exit.
All. Ha, ha, ha.
La. Rod. Oh Mr. Nicknack! I hear the Bauble-Frigot's in the River,
I'm on Tip-toes to see what's imported: Are the Catalogues out yet?
Nick. Your Ladyship is set down for the whole Cargo, to select where you please, tho' the Ladies teize me as much for new Fancies, as your good for nothing Actresses do a Poet for Parts, at the disposal of a new Comedy; and I protest Madam, I find it as difficult to get Goods fast enough, as a Woman that Lies in ev'ry Year does to get God-fathers.
La. Rod. Pray, Mr. Nicknack, what Demands have the Ladies made on you.
Nick My Lady Swine-love has bespoke a Dozen of Bermudas Pigs; my
Lady Noisy a screaming Parrot; my Lady Squelch a Dutch Mastiff; my
Lady Hoyden-tail a Cat o' Mountain; Mrs. Tireman a large Baboon, and
Mrs. Lick-it an Italian Greyhound.
La. Rod. You have an infallible Snare for our Sex; but I wonder, Mr. Nicknack, how so refin'd a Merchant as you, can endure the smoaky Coffee-Houses, and the dirty Exchange.
Nick. Madam, I use Robin's, as nice a Coffee-House as Tom's, where no Smoaking's allow'd, but a little Betony or Colt's-foot to a few Hundred thousand Pound Men; as for the Change, I must own, Dutch-Shapes, and Jew-Faces are not so agreeable to look at, as the Beauties at Hampton-Court; and I wonder the better sort of Merchants don't walk above Stairs, that in a dead time o' Business, when we have little to employ our Thoughts, we may divert our Opticks with the pretty Sempstresses.
Sir Har. When Business is at an ebb, what occasion have you to be there.