“Now, Doctor, you may judge from that conversation, and the deep feeling it exhibits, that men’s thoughts are wandering in new channels. The great thing for a statesman is to direct them to the right one. I have said there were three courses to be considered; first, incorporation with England; secondly, independence; thirdly, annexation. The subject is too large for a quarter-deck walk, so I will only say a few words more. Let’s begin with annexation first. The thinking, reflecting people among us don’t want these provinces. We guess we are big enough already, and nothing but our great rivers, canals, railroads, and telegraphs (which, like skewers in a round of beef, fasten the unwieldy mass together) could possibly keep us united. Without them we should fall to pieces in no time. It’s as much as they can keep all tight and snug now; but them skewers nor no others can tie a greater bulk than we have. Well, I don’t think colonists want to be swamped in our vast republic either. So there ain’t no great danger from that, unless the devil gits into us both, which, if a favourable chance offered, he is not onlikely to do. So let that pass. Secondly, as to incorporation. That is a grand idea, but it is almost too grand for John Bull’s head, and a little grain too large for his pride. There are difficulties, and serious ones, in the way. It would require participation in the legislature, which would involve knocking off some of the Irish brigade to make room for your members; and there would be a hurrush at that, as O’Connell used to say, that would bang Banaghar. It would also involve an invasion of the upper house, for colonists won’t take half a loaf now, I tell you; which would make some o’ those gouty old lords fly round and scream like Mother Cary’s chickens in a gale of wind; and then there would be the story of the national debt, and a participation in imperial taxes to adjust, and so on; but none of these difficulties are insuperable.
“A statesman with a clever head, a sound judgment, and a good heart, could adjust a scheme that would satisfy all; at least it would satisfy colonists by its justice, and reconcile the peers and the people of England by its expediency, for the day Great Britain parts with these colonies, depend upon it, she descends in the scale of nations most rapidly. India she may lose any day, for it is a government of opinion only. Australia will emancipate itself ere long, but these provinces she may and ought to retain.
“Thirdly, independence. This is better for her than annexation by a long chalk, and better for the colonies too, if I was allowed to spend my opinion on it; but if that is decided upon, something must be done soon. The way ought to be prepared for it by an immediate federative and legislative union of them all. It is of no use to consult their governors, they don’t and they can’t know anything of the country but its roads, lakes, rivers, and towns; but of the people they know nothing whatever. You might as well ask the steeple of a wooden church whether the sill that rests on the stone foundation is sound. They are too big according to their own absurd notions, too small in the eyes of colonists, and too far removed and unbending to know anything about it. What can a man learn in five years except the painful fact, that he knew nothing when he came, and knows as little when he leaves? He can form a better estimate of himself than when he landed, and returns a humbler, but not a wiser man; but that’s all his schoolin’ ends in. No, Sirree, it’s only men like you and me who know the ins and outs of the people here.”
“Don’t say me,” said the doctor, “for goodness’ sake, for I know nothing about the inhabitants of these woods and waters, but the birds, the fish, and the beasts.”
“Don’t you include politicians,” said I, “of all shades and colours, under the last genus? because I do, they are regular beasts of prey.”
Well, he laughed; he said he didn’t know nothing about them.
“Well,” sais I, “I ain’t so modest, I can tell you, for I do know. I am a clockmaker, and understand machinery. I know all about the wheels, pulleys, pendulum, balances, and so on, the length of the chain, and what is best of all, the way to wind ’em up, set ’em a going, and make ’em keep time. Now, Doctor, I’ll tell you what neither the English nor the Yankees, nor the colonists themselves, know anything of, and that is about the extent and importance of these North American provinces under British rule. Take your pencil now, and write down a few facts I will give you, and when you are alone meditating, just chew on ’em.
“First—there are four millions of square miles of territory in them, whereas all Europe has but three millions some odd hundred thousands, and our almighty, everlastin’ United States still less than that again. Canada alone is equal in size to Great Britain, France, and Prussia. The maritime provinces themselves cover a space as large as Holland, Belgium, Greece, Portugal, and Switzerland, all put together. The imports for 1853 were between ten and eleven millions, and the exports (ships sold included) between nine and ten millions. At the commencement of the American Revolution, when we first dared the English to fight us, we had but two and a half, these provinces now contain nearly three, and in half a century will reach the enormous amount of eighteen millions of inhabitants. The increase of population in the States is thirty-three per cent., in Canada sixty-eight. The united revenue is nearly a million and a half, and their shipping amounts to four hundred and fifty thousand tons.
“Now, take these facts and see what an empire is here, surely the best in climate, soil, mineral, and other productions in the world, and peopled by such a race as no other country under heaven can produce. No, Sir, here are the bundle of sticks, all they want is to be well united. How absurd it seems to us Yankees that England is both so ignorant and so blind to her own interests, as not to give her attention to this interesting portion of the empire, that in natural and commercial wealth is of infinitely more importance than half a dozen Wallachias and Moldavias, and in loyalty, intelligence, and enterprise, as far superior to turbulent Ireland as it is possible for one country to surpass another. However, Doctor, it’s no affair of mine. I hate politics, and I hate talking figures. Sposin’ we try a cigar, and some white satin.”