“Well, they are,” sais I, “that’s a fact, and they have all the same passions and feelings we have, only they are more grateful than man is, and you can by kindness lay one of them under an obligation he will never forget as long as he lives, whereas an obligation scares a man, for he snorts and stares at you like a horse at an engine, and is e’en most sure to up heels and let you have it, like mad. The only thing about dogs is, they can’t bear rivals, they like to have all attention paid to themselves exclusively. I will tell you a story I had from a British colonel.
“He was stationed in Nova Scotia, with his regiment, when I was a venden of clocks there. I met him to Windsor, at the Wilcox Inn. He was mightily taken with my old horse Clay, and offered me a most an everlastin’ long price for him; he said if I would sell him, he wouldn’t stand for money, for he never see such an animal in all his born days, and so on. But old Clay was above all price, his ditto was never made yet, and I don’t think ever will be. I had no notion to sell him, and I told him so, but seein’ he was dreadful disappointed, for a rich Englishman actually thinks money will do anything and get anything, I told him if ever I parted with him he should have him on condition he would keep him as long as he lived, and so on.
“Well, it pacified him a bit, and to turn the conversation, sais I, ‘Colonel,’ sais I, ‘what a most an almighty everlastin’ super superior Newfoundler that is,’ a pointin’ to his dog; ‘creation,’ sais I, ‘if I had a regiment of such fellows, I believe I wouldn’t be afraid of the devil. My,’ sais I, ‘what a dog! would you part with him? I’de give anything for him.’
“I said that a purpose to show him I had as good a right to keep my horse as he had his long-haired gentleman.
“‘No,’ sais he, with a sort of half smile at my ignorance in pokin’ such a question at him (for a Britisher abroad thinks he has privileges no one else has), ‘no, I don’t want to part with him. I want to take him to England with me. See, he has all the marks of the true breed: look at his beautiful broad forehead, what an intellectual one it is, ain’t it? then see his delicate mouse-like ears, just large enough to cover the orifice, and that’s all.’
“‘Orifice,’ said I, for I hate fine words for common use, they are like go-to-meeting’ clothes on week days, onconvenient, and look too all fired jam up. Sais I, ‘what’s that when it’s fried. I don’t know that word?’
“‘Why, ear-hole,’ said he.
“‘Oh,’ sais I, simple like, ‘I take now.’
“He smiled and went on. ‘Look at the black roof of his mouth,’ said he, ‘and do you see the dew claw, that is a great mark? Then feel that tail, that is his rudder to steer by when swimming. It’s different from the tail of other dogs, the strength of that joint is surprising. But his chest, Sir, his chest, see how that is formed on purpose for diving. It is shaped internally like a seal’s. And then, observe the spread of that webbed foot, and the power of them paddles. There are two kinds of them, the short and the long haired, but I think those shaggy ones are the handsomest. They are very difficult to be got now of the pure breed. I sent to the Bay of Bulls for this one. To have them in health you must make them stay out of doors in all weather, and keep them cool, and above all not feed them too high. Salt fish seems the best food for them, they are so fond of it. Singular that, ain’t it? but a dog is natural, Sir, and a man ain’t.
“‘Now, you never saw a codfish at the table of a Newfoundland merchant in your life. He thinks it smells too much of the shop. In fact, in my opinion the dog is the only gentleman there. The only one, now that the Indian is extinct, who has breeding and blood in that land of oil, blubber, and icebergs.’