“Well,” sais I, “there is, between you and me, a young lady here to the southern part of this province I have set my heart on, though whether she is agoin’ to give me hern, or give me the mitten, I ain’t quite sartified, but I rather kinder sorter guess the first, than kinder sorter not so.” I just throwed that in that she mightn’t misunderstand me. “Well, she is the most splendiferous gall I ever sot eyes on since I was created; and,” sais I to myself, “now, here is one of a different style of beauty, which on ’em is, take her all in all, the handsomest?”
Half Indian or half Gaelic, or whatever she was, she was a woman, and she didn’t flare up this time, I tell you, but taking up the work-bag she said:
“Give this to her, as a present from me.”
Thinks I, “My pretty brunette, if I don’t get the heart opened to me, and give you a better opinion of yourself, and set you all straight with mankind in general, and the doctor in particular, afore I leave Ship Harbour, I’ll give over for ever undervalyin’ the skill of ministers, that’s a fact. That will do for trial number one; by and by I’ll make trial number two.”
Taking up the “Clockmaker,” and looking at it, she said: “Is this book all true, Mr Slick? Did you say and do all that’s set down here?”
“Well,” sais I, “I wouldn’t just like to swear to every word of it, but most of it is true, though some things are embellished a little, and some are fancy sketches. But they are all true to nature.”
“Oh, dear,” said she, “what a pity! how shall I ever be able to tell what’s true and what ain’t? Do you think I shall be able to understand it, who know so little, and have seen so little?”
“You’ll comprehend every word of it,” sais I, “I wrote it on purpose, so every person should do so. I have tried to stick to life as close as I could, and there is nothin’ like natur, it goes home to the heart of us all.”
“Do tell me, Mr Slick,” said she, “what natur is, for I don’t know.”
Well, now that’s a very simple question, ain’t it? and anyone that reads this book when you publish it, will say, “Why, everybody knows what natur is,” and any schoolboy can answer that question. But I’ll take a bet of twenty dollars, not one in a hundred will define that tarm right off the reel, without stopping. It fairly stumpt me, and I ain’t easily brought to a hack about common things. I could a told her what natur was circumbendibusly, and no mistake, though that takes time. But to define it briefly and quickly, as Minister used to say, if it can be done at all, which I don’t think it can, all I can say is, as galls say to conundrums, “I can’t, so I give it up. What is it?”