“‘Tell you what,’ said the man, ‘don’t go for to tell me that again, or I’ll lay you as flat as he is in no time,’ and he cracked his whip and moved on.
“‘What’s the use,’ said I, ‘M’Clure, to call that man a liar? How do you know whether it is a moose or not, and he is more like to get its name right than you, who never saw one afore.’
“‘Moose,’ said he, ‘do you take me for a fool? do you suppose he is a goin’ to cram me with such stuff as that? The idea of his pretending to tell me that a creature six feet high with great spreading antlers like a deer is a moose, when in fact they are no bigger than a cock-roach, and can run into holes the size of a sixpence! Look at me—do you see anything very green about me?’
“‘Why, Mac,’ sais I, ‘as sure as the world you mean a mouse.’
“‘Well, I said a moose,’ he replied.
“‘Yes, I know you said a moose, but that’s not the way to pronounce a mouse. It may be Scotch, but it ain’t English. Do you go into that hardware shop, and ask for a moose-trap, and see how the boys will wink to each other, and laugh at you.’
“‘A man,’ sais he, drawing himself up, ‘who has learned humanity at Glaskee, don’t require to be taught how to pronounce moose.’
“‘As for your humanity,’ said I, ‘I never see much of that. If you ever had that weakness, you got bravely over it, and the glass key must have been broke years agone in Spain.’
“‘You are getting impertinent,’ said he, and he walked off and left me.
“It’s very strange, your Honour, but I never saw an Irishman or Scotchman yet that hadn’t the vanity to think he spoke English better than we do.”