“‘Well, I don’t like to say,’ sais Steve, ‘I know she is eight for sartain, and it may be she’s nine. If I was to say eight, and it turned out nine, you might be thinkin’ hard of me. I didn’t raise it. You can see what condition she is in; old hosses ain’t commonly so fat as that, at least I never, see one that was.’
“A long banter then growed out of the ‘boot money.’ The Elder, asked 7 pounds 10s. Goodish swore he wouldn’t give that for him and his hoss together; that if they were both put up to auction that blessed minute, they wouldn’t bring it. The Elder hung on to it, as long as there was any chance of the boot, and then fort the ground like a man, only givin’ an inch or so at a time, till he drawed up and made a dead stand, on one pound.
“Goodish seemed willing to come to tarms too; but like a prudent man, resolved to take a look at the old mare’s mouth, and make some kind of a guess at her age; but the critter knowed how to keep her own secrets, and it was ever so long, afore he forced her jaws open, and when he did, he came plaguy near losin’ of a finger, for his curiosity; and as he hopped and danced about with pain, he let fly such a string of oaths, and sacry-cussed the Elder and his mare, in such an all-fired passion, that Steve put both his hands up to his ears, and said, ‘Oh, my dear friend, don’t swear, don’t swear; it’s very wicked. I’ll take your pony, I’ll ask no boot, if you will only promise not to swear. You shall have the mare as she stands. I’ll give up and swap even; and there shall be no after claps, nor ruin bargains, nor recantin’, nor nother, only don’t swear.’
“Well, the trade was made, the saddles and bridles was shifted, and both parties mounted their new hosses. ‘Mr. Slick,’ sais Steve,’ who was afraid he would lose the pony, if he staid any longer, ‘Mr. Slick,’ sais he, ‘the least said, is the soonest mended, let’s be a movin’, this scene of noise and riot is shockin’ to a religious man, ain’t it?’ and he let go a groan, as long as the embargo a’most.
“Well, we had no sooner turned to go, than the French people sot up a cheer that made all ring again; and they sung out, “La Fossy Your,” “La Fossy Your,” and shouted it agin and agin ever so loud.
“‘What’s that?’ sais Steve.
“Well, I didn’t know, for I never heerd the word afore; but it don’t do to say you don’t know, it lowers you in the eyes of other folks. If you don’t know What another man knows he is shocked at your ignorance. But if he don’t know what you do, he can find an excuse in a minute. Never say you don’t know.
“‘So,’ sais I, ‘they jabber so everlastin’ fast, it ain’t no easy matter to say what they mean; but it sounds like “good bye,” you’d better turn round and make ‘em a bow, for they are very polite people, is the French.’
“So Steve turns and takes off his hat, and makes them a low bow, and they larfs wus than ever, and calls out again, “La Fossy Your,” “La Fossy Your.” He was kinder ryled, was the Elder. His honey had begun to farment, and smell vinegery. ‘May be, next Christmas,’ sais he, ‘you won’t larf so loud, when you find the mare is dead. Goodish and the old mare are jist alike, they are all tongue them critters. I rather think it’s me,’ sais he, ‘has the right to larf, for I’ve got the best of this bargain, and no mistake. This is as smart a little hoss as ever I see. I know where I can put him off to great advantage. I shall make a good day’s work of this. It is about as good a hoss trade as I ever made. The French don’t know nothin’ about hosses; they are a simple people, their priests keep ‘em in ignorance on purpose, and they don’t know nothin’.’
“He cracked and bragged considerable, and as we progressed we came to Montagon Bridge. The moment pony sot foot on it, he stopped short, pricked up the latter eends of his ears, snorted, squeeled and refused to budge an inch. The Elder got mad. He first coaxed and patted, and soft sawdered him, and then whipt and spurred, and thrashed him like any thing. Pony got mad too, for hosses has tempers as well as Elders; so he turned to, and kicked right straight up on eend, like Old Scratch, and kept on without stoppin’ till he sent the Elder right slap over his head slantendicularly, on the broad of his back into the river, and he floated down thro’ the bridge and scrambled out at t’other side.