“Well, Rufus come all the way from Boston to see the Falls: he said he didn’t care much about them hisself, seein’ that he warn’t in the mill business; but, as he was a goin’ to England, he didn’t like to say he hadn’t been there, especially as all the English knowed about America was, that there was a great big waterfall called Niagara, an everlastin’ Almighty big river called Mississippi, and a parfect pictur of a wappin’ big man called Kentuckian there. Both t’other ones he’d seen over and over agin, but Niagara he’d never sot eyes on.
“So as soon as he arrives, he goes into the public room, and looks at the white waters, and, sais he, ‘Waiter,’ sais he, ‘is them the falls down there?’ a-pintin’ by accident in the direction where the Falls actilly was.
“‘Yes, Sir,’ sais the waiter.
“‘Hem!’ sais Rufe, ‘them’s the Falls of Niagara, eh! So I’ve seen the Falls at last, eh! Well it’s pretty too: they ain’t bad, that’s a fact. So them’s the Falls of Niagara! How long is it afore the stage starts?’
“‘An hour, Sir.’
“‘Go and book me for Boston, and then bring me a paper.’
“‘Yes, Sir.’
“Well he got his paper and sot there a readin’ of it, and every now and then, he’d look out of the winder and say: ‘So them’s the Falls of Niagara, eh? Well, it’s a pretty little mill privilege that too, ain’t it; but it ain’t just altogether worth comin’ so far to see. So I’ve seen the Falls at last!’
“Arter a while in comes a Britisher.
“‘Waiter,’ says he, ‘how far is it to the Falls?’