The rain having confined us to the house this afternoon, we sat over our wine after dinner longer than usual. Among the different topics that were discussed, the most prominent was the state of the political parties in this country. Mr. Slick, who paid great deference to the opinions of Mr. Hopewell, was anxious to ascertain from him what he thought upon the subject, in order to regulate his conduct and conversation by it hereafter.
“Minister,” said he, “what do you think of the politics of the British?”
“I don’t think about them at all, Sam. I hear so much of such matters at home, that I am heartily tired of them; our political world is divided into two classes, the knaves and the dupes. Don’t let us talk of such exciting, things.”
“But, Minister,” said Mr. Slick, “holdin’ the high and dignified station I do, as Attache, they will be a-pumpin’ me for everlastinly, will the great men here, and they think a plaguy sight more of our opinion than you are aware on; we have tried all them things they are a jawin’ about here, and they naterally want to know the results. Cooper says not one Tory called on him when he was to England, but Walter Scott; and that I take it, was more lest folks should think he was jealous of him, than any thing else; they jist cut him as dead as a skunk; but among the Whigs, he was quite an oracle on ballot, univarsal suffrage, and all other democratic institutions.”
“Well, he was a ninny then, was Cooper, to go and blart it all out to the world that way; for if no Tory visited him, I should like you to ask him the next time you see him, how many gentlemen called upon him? Jist ask him that, and it will stop him from writing such stuff any more.”
“But, Minister, jist tell us now, here you are, as a body might say in England, now what are you?”
“I am a man, Sam; Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.”
“Well, what’s all that when it’s fried?”
“Why, that when away from home, I am a citizen of the world. I belong to no party, but take an interest in the whole human family.”
“Well, Minister, if you choose to sing dumb, you can, but I should like to have you answer me one question now, and if you won’t, why you must jist do t’other thing, that’s all. Are you a Consarvative?”