To the World.
World, I was once resolu’d to bee round with thee, because I know tis thy fashion to bee round with euery bodie: but the winde shifting his point, the Veine turn’d: yet because thou wilt sit as Judge of all matters (though for thy labour thou wear’st Midasses eares, and art Monstrum horrendum, informe: Ingens cui lumen ademptum; whose great Poliphemian eye is put out) I care not much if I make description (before thy Vniuersality) of that terrible Poetomachia, lately commenc’d betweene Horace the second, and a band of leane-witted Poetasters. They haue bin at high wordes, and so high, that the ground could not serue them, but (for want of Chopins) haue stalk’t vpon Stages.
Horace hal’d his Poetasters to the Barre, the Poetasters vntruss’d Horace: how worthily eyther, or how wrongfully, (World) leaue it to the Jurie: Horace (questionles) made himselfe beleeue, that his Burgonian wit might desperately challenge all commers, and that none durst take vp the foyles against him: It’s likely. if he had not so beleiu’d, he had not bin so deceiu’d, for hee was answer’d at his owne weapon: And if before Apollo himselfe (who is Coronator Poetarum) an Inquisition should be taken touching this lamentable merry murdering of Innocent Poetry: all mount Helicon to Bun-hill, it would be found on the Poetasters side Se defendendo. Notwithstanding the Doctors thinke otherwise. I meete one, and he runnes full Butt at me with his Satires hornes, for that in vntrussing Horace, I did onely whip his fortunes, and condition of life, where the more noble Reprehension had bin of his mindes Deformitie, whose greatnes if his Criticall Lynx had with as narrow eyes, obseru’d in himselfe, as it did little spots vpon others, without all disputation: Horace would not haue left Horace out of Euery man in’s Hvmour. His fortunes? why does not he taxe that onely in others? Read his Arraignement and see. A second Cat-a-mountaine mewes, and calles me Barren, because my braines could bring foorth no other Stigmaticke than Tucca, whome Horace had put to making, and begot to my hand: but I wonder what language Tucca would haue spoke, if honest Capten Hannam had bin borne without a tongue? Ist not as lawfull then for mee to imitate Horace, as Horace Hannam?
Besides, If I had made an opposition of any other new-minted fellow, (of what Test so euer) hee had bin out-fac’d, and out-weyed by a settled former approbation: neyther was it much improper to set the same dog vpon Horace, whom Horace had set to worrie others.
I could heere (eeuen with the feather of my pen) wipe off other ridiculous imputations: but my best way to answer them, is to laugh at them: onely thus much I protest (and sweare by the diuinest part of true Poesie) that (howsoeuer the limmes of my naked lines may bee and I know haue bin, tortur’d on the racke) they are free from conspiring the least disgrace to any man, but onely to our new Horace; neyther should this ghost of Tucca, haue walkt vp and downe Poules Church-yard, but that hee was raiz’d vp (in print) by newe Exorcismes. World, if thy Hugenes will beleiue this: doe, if not, I care not: for I dedicate my booke not to thy Greatnes, but to the Greatnes of thy scorne: Defying which, let that mad Dog Detraction bite till his teeth bee worne to the stumps: Enuy feede thy Snakes so fat with poyson till they burst: World, let all thy Adders shoote out their Hidra-headed-forked Stinges, Ha, Ha, Nauci; if none will take my part, (as I desire none) yet I thanke thee (thou true Venusian Horace) for these good wordes thou giu’st me: Populus me sibylat at mihi plaudo. World farewell.
Malim Conuiuis quam placuisse Cocis.
Ad Lectorem
In steed of the Trumpets sounding thrice, before the Play begin: it shall not be amisse (for him that will read) first to beholde this short Comedy of Errors, and where the greatest enter, to giue them in stead of a hisse, a gentle correction.
In letter C. Page. I. for, Whom I adorn’d as Subiects: Read, Whom I ador’d as, &c.