Cud. Or, Tom, if you could give your mind to ducking,—I know you can swim, fetch, and carry,—some shop-keeper in London would take great delight in you, and be a tender master over you: or if you have a mind to the game either at bull or bear, I think I could prefer you to Moll Cutpurse[457].
Dog. Ha, ha! I should kill all the game,—bulls, bears, dogs and all; not a cub to be left.
Cud. You could do, Tom; but you must play fair; you should be staved-off else. Or if your stomach did better like to serve in some nobleman’s, knight’s, or gentleman’s kitchen, if you could brook the wheel and turn the spit—your labour could not be much—when they have roast meat, that’s but once or twice in the week at most: here you might lick your own toes very well. Or if you could translate yourself into a lady’s arming puppy, there you might lick sweet lips, and do many pretty offices; but to creep under an old witch’s coats, and suck like a great puppy! fie upon’t!—I have heard beastly things of you, Tom.
Dog. Ha, ha!
The worse thou heard’st of me the better ’tis.
Shall I serve thee, fool, at the selfsame rate?
Cud. No, I’ll see thee hanged, thou shalt be damned first! I know thy qualities too well, I’ll give no suck to such whelps; therefore henceforth I defy thee. Out, and avaunt!
Dog. Nor will I serve for such a silly soul:
I am for greatness now, corrupted greatness;
There I’ll shug in,[458] and get a noble countenance;[459]
Serve some Briarean footcloth-strider,[460]
That has an hundred hands to catch at bribes,
But not a finger’s nail of charity.
Such, like the dragon’s tail, shall pull down hundreds
To drop and sink with him:[461] I’ll stretch myself,
And draw this bulk small as a silver wire,
Enter at the least pore tobacco-fume
Can make a breach for:—hence, silly fool!
I scorn to prey on such an atom soul.
Cud. Come out, come out, you cur! I will beat thee out of the bounds of Edmonton, and to-morrow we go in procession, and after thou shalt never come in again: if thou goest to London, I’ll make thee go about by Tyburn, stealing in by Thieving Lane. If thou canst rub thy shoulder against a lawyer’s gown, as thou passest by Westminster-hall, do; if not, to the stairs amongst the bandogs, take water, and the Devil go with thee! [Exit, followed by the Dog barking.
