“Hold up, John,” said Dr. Eustace. “That is all my mentality can assimilate without a rest. Are you not reading from an essay by Mona Caird, or a novel by Tolstoi? Is that really and truly the preamble of a law enacted by a Western Legislature? Have all the cranks, and all the theorists, and all the moonstruck, long-haired, green-goggled reformers on earth, been turned loose in Arizona?”
“Doctor,” said the professor solemnly, “the truth is a persistent fly, that cannot be brushed away with the wisps of ridicule. The Arizona legislators have fearlessly attempted to deal with conditions which every close observer of our social life knows to be existent.”
“Papa,” said the baroness, interestedly, “in what way is it proposed to deal with the problem? Please read further.”
“The law is too lengthy,” said the professor, after glancing over a few pages, “to be read in detail, but I will summarize it for you. Marriages are declared void unless the parties procure a license, which can only be issued by an examining board of men and women, composed in part of physicians, and in part of graduates of some reputable school, dedicated to physiological observations and esoteric thought and investigation.”
“Anything about ability to boil a potato or sew on a button?” interrupted the doctor.
“Peace, scoffer,” said the professor. “It seems to be required that all applicants for license shall have had an acquaintance of at least one year, and be under marriage engagement for six months, and shall pass examination by the board upon their mutual eligibility, as expressed through temperament, complexion, tastes, education, traits of character, and general conditions of fitness.”
“Is red hair, or a habit of snoring, or a fondness for raw onions, considered a disqualification?” queried the doctor.
The professor, ignoring the interruption, continued: “It is required that one or both of the applicants shall possess property of sufficient value, to support both of them for one year, in the manner of life to which the proposed wife has been accustomed.”
“A gleam of common sense at last in a glamour of moonshine,” said the doctor. “But how can such a marriage law be enforced?”
“The act provides,” said the professor, “that children born to parties who have no license, shall be deemed born out of wedlock, and all such children, as well as all children born to extreme poverty or degrading influences, may be taken from their parents and educated at the public expense.”