The readiest way to keep them down

Is this, give every jade and clown

“Lots” of intoxicating stuff,

Gin, whiskey, and new rum enough;

And in that case, I’ll bet my eyes,

The rogues will never, never rise;

Though placed in heaven, they could not fail

To be Sir Richard Rum’s canaille.

If ardent spirit is not handy,

Cider’s almost as good as brandy,