'From the little I have read, this appears to be a very puzzling part of the profession.'

'Not at all; if we will take things as we find them, and neither be more curious nor squeamish than wise. I will state the process of a suit to you; and you will then perceive how plain and straight-forward it is. We will suppose A the plaintiff: B the defendant. A brings his action by bill. Action you know means this: 'Actio nihil aliud est quam jus prosequendi injudicium quod sibi debelur:' or, 'a right of prosecuting to judgment, for what is due to one's self.' B is and was supposed to be in the custody of the Marshal. Observe, supposed to be: for very likely B is walking unmolested in his garden; or what not. B we will say happens to live in Surrey, Kent, or any other county, except Middlesex; and is supposed to have made his escape, though perhaps he may have broken his leg, and never have been out of his own door. And then the latitat supposes that a bill had issued, and further supposes that it has been returned non est inventus, and moreover supposes it to have been filed. B lives in Kent, you know; and this latitat is addressed, in supposition, to the Sheriff of the county, greeting; though as to the Sheriff he neither sees, hears, nor knows any thing concerning it; and informs him that B (notwithstanding he is confined to his bed by a broken leg) runs up and down, in supposition, and secretes himself in the Sheriff's county of Kent: on which—'

'I beg your pardon: I cannot follow you through all this labyrinth of supposes.'

'No! Then you will never do for a lawyer: for I have but just begun. I should carry you along an endless chain of them; every link of which is connected.'

'And which chain is frequently strong enough to bind and imprison both plaintiff and defendant.'

'Certainly: or the law would be as dead in its spirit as it is in its letter.'

'I fear I shall never get all the phrases and forms of law by rote.'

'Why, no. If you did, heaven help you! it would breed a fine confusion in your brain. You would become as litigious and as unintelligible as our friend Stradling.'

'Mr. Stradling,' said Hilary, 'is one of my clients: an unfortunate man who, being a law-printer, has in the way of trade read so many law-books, and accustomed himself to such a peculiar jargon, as to imagine that he is a better lawyer than any of us; so that he has half-ruined himself by litigation. He is to dine with us, and will soon be here.'

'I will provoke him,' continued Trottman, 'to afford you a sample of his gibberish; you may then examine what degree of instruction you suppose may be obtained from a heterogeneous topsy-turvy mass of law phrases.'