Coriolanus Crumpe—and Fig
In Brutus, with brown-paper wig,
And Huggins great in Cato;
Only he broke so often off,
To have a fit of whooping-cough,
While reasoning with Plato.
And Zangra too,—but I shall weep,
If longer on this theme I keep,
And let remembrance loose, Dick;
Now forced to act—it’s very hard—
“Measure for Measure” with a yard—
You Richard, with a goose, Dick!
Zounds! Dick, it’s very odd our dads
Should send us there when we were lads
To learn to talk like Tullies;
And now, if one should just break out,
Perchance, into a little spout,
A stick about the skull is.
Why should stage-learning form a part
Of schooling for the tailor’s art?
Alas! dramatic notes, Dick,
So well record the sad mistake
Of him who tried at once to make
Both Romeo and Coates, Dick!
YE TOURISTS AND TRAVELLERS.
E Tourists and Travellers, bound to the Rhine,
Provided with passport, that requisite docket,
First listen to one little whisper of mine—
Take care of your pocket!—take care of your pocket!
Don’t wash or be shaved—go like hairy wild men,
Play dominoes, smoke, wear a cap, and smock-frock it,
But if you speak English, or look it, why then—
Take care of your pocket!—take care of your pocket!
You’ll sleep at great inns, in the smallest of beds,
Find charges as apt to mount up as a rocket,
With thirty per cent. as a tax on your heads,—
Take care of your pocket!—take care of your pocket!