“With loss of blood I fainted off,
As dead as women do—
But soon by charging over me,
The Coldstream brought me to.
With kicks and cuts, and batts and blows,
I throb and ache all over;
I’m quite convinc’d the field of Mars
Is not a field of clover!
“O why did I a soldier turn
For any royal Guelph?
I might have been a butcher, and
In business for myself!
“O why did I the bounty take
(And here he gasp’d for breath)
My shillingsworth of ‘list is nail’d
Upon the door of death!
“Without a coffin I shall lie
And sleep my sleep eternal:
Not ev’n a shell—my only chance
Of being made a Kernel!
“O Patty dear, our wedding bells
Will never ring at Chester!
Here I must lie in Honour’s bed,
That isn’t worth a tester!
“Farewell, my regimental mates,
With whom I used to dress!
My corps is changed, and I am now
In quite another mess.
“Farewell, my Patty dear, I have
No dying consolations,
Except, when I am dead, you’ll go
And see th’ Illuminations.”