“Concerning schoolboys’ etiquette, it beats all other etiquette. Public schools cultivate reserve, and so strongly that I think one never gets quite rid of it, although one gets better in after-life. I wish it was not so; it is one of the drawbacks of public schools, which are on the whole excellent institutions. One must take the sours with the sweets.
“Herbert would not think of speaking to a schoolfellow (not on a par with himself), unless first spoken to. And in public schools the great ‘swells’ are those distinguished at cricket, football, &c. Then come the sixth, by virtue of their legal power. Then the great middle class, including clever, stupid, pleasant, unpleasant, &c., and then the new boys, and the very small boys. All the power and influence is in the hands of the athletes, and the sixth form, and all the rest pay them (the athletes) the greatest respect, and the most willing obedience. They obey the sixth (lawful authority) less willingly. All this is not quite satisfactory, but it might be worse. At all events Temple, who is a tremendous Radical, knows it and allows, nay, encourages it. But I find that few people are Radicals in their own departments.”
“Offley, November 7th, 1868.
“I went for the day to see the old Rug. match, and gave Walter and Herbert a dinner at the ‘Shoes’ before going away. Walter played in the match, and the young ones gave it the old Rugs hot, much to my delight. Walter seemed wonderfully well, and ditto Herbert. He always looks pale at school, but he was in high spirits, and evidently enjoys school life. He is very different from me in some things; his study is awfully ’cute (that’s boys’ English, and means tidy and full of knick-knacks); in fact he is a bit of a dandy; I was not. Also he must be a better boy than I was, for his character is really first-rate in everything; and the masters used always to row me for not doing as much as I could. That was the burden of their song.”
As a complement to these letters, I add here extracts from those to his eldest boy:—
“Thank you much for your letter received this morning; you are very good in writing so regularly, and I hope you will keep up the habit, for (I repeat) there is no pleasure to us so great as to receive your letters. We are glad to hear you are ‘all right’ in your form. I have no objection to the Rifle corps. It would be odd if I had, as I was a Volunteer myself; only go into it heartily, and learn your drill well. It is capital exercise, and it will do you good to be ‘set up,’ as you stoop too much. I should not think, however, that Temple would let the Rugby volunteers go to Windsor. If he thinks proper to do so, of course I have no objection. I suppose that as usual you are ‘hard up,’ so I send you a P.O. order. You must learn to exercise a little forethought and self-denial about money matters: you spend more than your income. You must overcome this habit, for it would embarrass and, perhaps, ruin you hereafter.”
The next extract refers to some help in his work which his father sent him from time to time:—
“I depend upon your looking out all the words, and working it out for yourself with the help of my translation. You promised me to do this, and I know you are a boy of your word, otherwise I shouldn’t think it right to help you. Your tutor may ask if you have any assistance. If he does you must say you found it very hard (which it really is for a boy of your age), and asked me to help you. There is nothing like being open and truth-telling with your masters, and every one. If he objects to my helping you, you must do the best you can without it, like a man; but I don’t think he will object. Your place in the form seems very satisfactory: if you do get out we shall be very much pleased, but don’t make yourself anxious about it, only do your best....”
Again at the beginning of the following half-year:—
“The reason you give for having lost a few places is no doubt the right one—that you have not got yet into the swing—it will be all right in a week or two. I have no doubt you will get your remove at the end of term easily enough. The exam. (if I understand rightly) consists of subjects which you prepare during term, and there is not much ‘unseen.’ This will be an advantage to you over the idle ones who don’t prepare their work. I shall be delighted to help you in any way, if you will only let me know, and give me due notice. Perhaps you won’t believe me when I assure you again, that Latin prose will come to you as well as cricket and football in good time; but it is the truth nevertheless. At your age I often felt the same discouragement which you feel. I had rather overgrown myself like you, and was longer ‘ripening’ (to use an expressive phrase) than many fellows who did not grow so fast; but it all came right in my case, as it will in yours. Therefore en avant and don’t be discouraged....”