Moral.
Take warning, ye Fair, from this tale of the Bard's, And don't go where fortunes are told on the cards, But steer clear of Conjurors,—never put query To "Wise Mrs. Williams," or folks like Ruggieri. When alone in your room, shut the door close, and lock it; Above all,—keep your handkerchief safe in your pocket! Lest you too should stumble, and Lord Levenson Gower, he Be call'd on,—sad poet!—to tell your sad story!
It was in the summer of 1838 that a party from Tappington reached the metropolis with a view of witnessing the coronation of their youthful Queen, whom God long preserve!—This purpose they were fortunate enough to accomplish, by the purchase of a peer's ticket, from a stationer in the Strand, who was enabled so to dispose of some, greatly to the indignation of the hereditary Earl Marshal. How Mr. Barney managed to insinuate himself into the Abbey remains a mystery: his characteristic modesty and address doubtless assisted him, for there he unquestionably was. The result of his observations were thus communicated to his associates in the Servants' Hall upon his return, to the infinite delectation of Mademoiselle Pauline over a Cruiskeen of his own concocting.
[MR. BARNEY MAGUIRE'S ACCOUNT OF THE CORONATION.]
Air—"The Groves of Blarney."
Och! the Coronation! what celebration For emulation can with it compare? When to Westminster the Royal Spinster, And the Duke of Leinster, all in order did repair! 'Twas there you'd see the New Polishemen Making a skrimmage at half after four, And the Lords and Ladies, and the Miss O'Gradys, All standing round before the Abbey door.
Their pillows scorning, that self-same morning Themselves adorning, all by the candle-light, With roses and lilies, and daffy-down-dillies, And gould, and jewels, and rich di'monds bright. And then approaches five hundred coaches, With Gineral Dullbeak.—Och! 'twas mighty fine To see how asy bould Corporal Casey, With his sword drawn, prancing, made them kape the line.
Then the Guns' alarums, and the King of Arums, All in his Garters and his Clarence shoes, Opening the massy doors to the bould Ambassydors, The Prince of Potboys, and great haythen Jews; 'Twould have made you crazy to see Esterhazy All joo'ls from his jasey to his di'mond boots, With Alderman Harmer, and that swate charmer, The famale heiress, Miss Anjā-ly Coutts.